#At the end of the day it’s like. i do fully believe john could’ve been just as awful as he is without ever physical violence. some parents

[sammygender]

at the end of the day it’s just not true that sam ‘explicitly says john never hit them in 1x14’ it’s actually the opposite of true. do you want me to pull up the quotes i love that episode i can pull up the quotes. even aside from the fact that sam’s still identifying with max once he knows he was abused and only stops once it becomes obvious that it continued in adulthood/wasnt a childhood thing that just happened sometimes….. even aside from the fact that dean’s comment at the end of the ep is obviously meant to imply that sam either doesn’t know about something or isn’t considering something….. even if you just take it at the most textual value possible. sam doesn’t say Dad never hit us! he says “a little more tequila, a little less demon-hunting, we would’ve had Max’s childhood”…. very different…… max’s childhood is explicitly Defined by physical violence & sam and dean’s isn’t it’s defined by the hunting and the neglect and for dean the parentification physical violence isn’t the defining part or even the Worst part i would argue of johns abuse……. all sam’s saying is That….. but there is a world of a sliding scale between “max’s childhood” and any other kind of not necessarily frequent but still occurring physical abuse & to act like there isn’t is weird and insane……. and especially to sam those can seem like very different things…… no one wants to believe their parents are awful. sam doesn’t even if he seems like he’s ready to accept it. he’s not really.

he’s Also essentially saying In another world where our dad didn’t have hunting and he drank even more than he already did, he would’ve ended up beating us! . which is also really not a ringing endorsement of john winchester’s parenting wrt physical abuse.

i have like 798477 more thoughts on this but whatever i’m just here to say shut UP about 1x14 in regards to john physical abuse unless you’re using it to mention how it brings that concept, which it returns to multiple times throughout the show, into the narrative…..

[kitkatscabinet]

Whumptober - 06: Torture

John Price x gn! reader

Warnings: Blood & gore, depictions of torture. Part 2 of Kidnapped but can be standalone

You’d lost track of how long you’d been locked in this room, strapped to the chair. It could’ve been hours or even days. You’d blacked out so many times it was impossible to tell. Not to mention the lack of a window or clock that would give you any indication of the time passing. 

The only measure you had was the pain. How long it took for the excruciating to numb to a slightly less but nonetheless still agonising pain. 

The pain was all you knew anymore and it was so bad that you could barely remember a time when it didn’t feel like fire was dancing across your chest with every breath. The wheezing rattle that filled the cold, damp room with every inhale and exhale letting you know just how damaged you were internally. 

You feared a punctured lung, though given the lack of blood sliding up your throat and threatening to drown you internally you’d tentatively ruled the possibility out. Though it could very quickly change. 

Your left eye was swollen shut and you could still taste blood on your tongue from the split that ran through your bottom lip. Your chin dipped down to your chest, the muscles in your neck far too exhausted to keep you fully upright. 

Just as you begin to nod off once more, whether from pain or exhaustion you’re not sure, the rusty metal door squealed open, banging against the wall with a clang that made you jump. In an attempt to prolong the inevitable, you don’t bother looking up, subconsciously hoping that if you ignore the man he’ll go away. 

Unfortunately, you both know this won’t happen. 

A hand fists your hair and pulls your face up towards him so harshly it makes your neck crack and pulls a pained whine from your lips against your wishes. 

“Still with us? Good, would hate for the party to end so soon” the man cooed, trailing his cold fingers over your bloodied lips and down your jaw. 

Mustering all the courage you have left you manage to croak out the words you’ve been so desperate to vocalise, “Jonn will kill you for this.” It’s a promise, and one you fervently believe, even if you’re beginning to realise you likely won’t be alive to see it. 

“Will he now? Such certainty! Such faith in the man who got you into this mess in the first place.” He laughs, tugging on your hair even harder until it hurts to swallow and the blood rushes to your head. “I’d say he deserves a reward. A little present from you and me to let him know we’re thinking about him.”

You can’t quite hide the look of terror that crosses your face quite in time from him, nor the tears that start to earnestly slip down your cheeks once he stalks over to the small table you knew housed his various torture instruments. 

There’s no escape but you flail like it’ll provide escape anyway, it only fuels his laughter. You’re not like John. You have no training to deal with the fucked up situation you’ve been thrust into and it’s evident in the way you can’t stop shaking like a wet chihuahua. 

Your panic crescendos as you notice the blood-stained shears he’s now walking towards you with and all your previous bravado flies out the window as you plead and beg for mercy through deep hiccuping sobs. 

Obviously, it doesn’t help, it anything it only seems to spur him on as he leans in to lick the tears from your cheeks.

“Oh come on darlin’, all worked up and I haven’t even touched you yet.” He cuts through the ropes binding your hands but you aren’t stupid enough to lash out even if you desperately want to. 

It’s not until he lifts the shears over the fingers of your left hand that you instinctively start to struggle in earnest. It’s no use and even if you had been at full strength it still would have been a hopeless endeavour, it doesn’t stop you from trying. 

“Such a nice ring, I’ll make sure to return it to your husband.” With that, the shears snap closed over your pinky and ring fingers and you can do nothing but scream in agony as your blood sprays and the fingers that were once attached to your hand fall limply onto the floor. 

The shock of the pain is enough that you quickly pass out, it’s the only mercy you’re provided. 

He’s staring at your fingers. Your fingers. 

The ring he’d so delicately placed upon your finger on your wedding day glints mockingly up at him from the small, innocuous box that had been delivered to him. 

This time he can’t hold back the bile and he doesn’t manage to make it to the bin not even a few metres away before he’s vomiting onto the floor. 

Soap lets out an alarmed cry, rushing to see what had set his captain off and immediately pales like a ghost, a string of cursed words that John can’t tell are Scottish or English and his mind has just stopped processing information correctly. 

His eyes are still locked on your bloodied ring before Soap snaps it shut and shoves it out of view before he pushes his captain to sit back down. 

The world is spinning a little and no matter how much he wrestles for control all John can see is your dismembered fingers, stained with the red that taints his vision. 

It takes all of his men watching him 24/7 around the clock as if he’ll snap at any second to prevent him from doing something rash. Something he’s too furious and keyed up to appreciate, especially when Simon prevents him from punching a superior officer in his grief-fueled haze. 

It’s another two days post the arrival of your - since the package, when the task force is finally graced with news of your location. 

The general had attempted to keep John on base, something that had led to John finally punching the man before he could be stopped, he didn’t care for the consequences. He’d deal with them later, you were more important than his career. 

He’d almost killed Gaz too when the sergeant prevented him from running head-first into an ambush. He’d apologise to the lad later, but right now he needed to find you. 

When the door clangs open violently once more you don’t even flinch, continuing to lie listlessly on the damp cement. You don’t even fight or open your eyes as rough, sweaty hands grab your cheeks. 

The gentleness surprises you, but you don’t allow your surprise to show, sure this is just another cruel tactic to shatter you mentally as well as physically. 

“Open your eyes for me love, please.” The gravelly tone sounds hoarser than usual but you can’t help but freeze at what is undoubtedly your husband’s voice. You’re crying before your eyes even flicker open and you shudder against the touch you now recognise as your husband. 

“Please be real. I can’t handle a trick this cruel” you gasped through the tears. John’s face falls even further, a few of his own tears slipping down his cheeks and wetting his beard as he manoeuvres you as gently as possible into his arms. 

Your whimpers of pain are hushed with understanding noises and apologies from John as he wipes your tears as gently as possible before cradling your head against the crook of his neck. 

“I wanna go home. Please take me home.” The words are whispered into his vest before you can stop him and it’s only because you’re so out of it that you miss the stutter in John’s step and the way his teeth grit in devastation. 

“I promise darlin’.” You flinch at the endearment before you can stop yourself and John suddenly wishes he’d enacted far more painful deaths on every miserable bastard that had laid a hand on you. 

Clearing his throat and making sure to speak as gently as possible he does his best to reassure you, “We’re going home, I promise.”

[xxsksxxx]

Almost Heaven

Summary:

Mulder’s attempt to find more exciting cases to investigate while stuck in the bullpen turns into another weekend trip to the forest.

Meanwhile, Scully is faced with a tempting offer that could change both her future and their lives.

This story is complete, and I’m going to post one chapter a day.

AO3 | Back to the Beginning | @today-in-fic

Chapter 3: Drivin’ Down the Road, I Get a Feelin’

Interstate 66 Saturday, November 28th, 1998, 7:30 am

Scully turned her face towards the car window, trying to cover a yawn. They were already outside the city, heading west. Leave it to Mulder to knock on her door at 6:30 in the morning, eyes bright and restless like a five-year-old on the way to the ballpark.

You could’ve said no, her inner voice pointed out helpfully. She smiled to herself. Not likely. She loved their little adventures nearly as much as Mulder did. Not that she’d ever admit that to him. Scully gave him a sideways glance. Mulder was humming along to the radio, chewing on a sunflower side. She watched him reach into the bag between their seats, pulling out another seed and licking the salt off of its shell. No, there were certainly worse places to be on a Saturday morning than being in a car with Mulder.

And he’d brought her her cup of coffee, of course. Perfect, like always. She took a sip of the still-hot liquid and felt the caffeine enter her bloodstream, waking her up a bit more.

Scully loved their little routines as of late. They’d always been close, but since their return from Antarctica, things have shifted. She glanced into her cup, watching the coffee swirl. Now Mulder brought her coffee each morning just how she liked it. And he never left the office without giving her shoulder a little squeeze or brushing her arm before wishing her a good evening. And of course, the calls where they now talked about more than just work. She’d told him about her Sunday lunch with her mother just a few days ago, both of them laughing about the stories her mother had told. And they’d begun to end those calls with wishes for sweet dreams, good nights, and long pauses. Scully closed her eyes against the warm rush that made her face flush and her heart race.

It wasn’t like she wasn’t following her own routines now, either. She didn’t even ask when she touched him wherever she felt like it these days. Scully was surprised he hadn’t called her out yet on constantly checking him over, brushing through his hair, feeling his back and chest, or just grabbing his arm. Picking up the phone after the first ring each night probably wasn’t secretive either, she sighed. Whatever was going on, it seemed to be an underlying agreement between them that they keep doing it—unfortunately, without talking about it.

What else is new? she wondered. Their unspoken communication was great, but sometimes she wished Mulder would also use words. And you’re talking to him about it? her inner voice questioned, and she sank deeper into her seat, taking another sip of her coffee. No, she wasn’t either. That was true. But that needed to change. She was tired of running in circles.

She leaned sideways in her seat, pressing her shoulder into the back so she could watch him fully. “So, where are we going exactly, Mulder? I believe you skipped that part on the phone last night.”

Mulder turned to her briefly before turning his eyes back to the road. “Does ’Country roads, take me home’ ring any bells for you, Scully?” he grinned.

She gave him a confused look. “What does John Denver have to do with our little trip? Please don’t tell me some farmer has seen his ghost in a national forest.”

Mulder laughed and then puckered his lower lip into a pout. “No ghosts, Scully. Just some good old mystery.” He pulled out another sunflower seed from the bag and put it on the tip of his tongue. “Only two more hours, and we’ll be there. You’ll get to visit the beautiful state of West Virginia. It’ll be fun,” he added, wiggling his eyebrows.

Scully sighed and turned towards the vents, trying to adjust the airflow. The windshield wipers were working at a steady pace to keep the constant rain off the windshield. “I hope you’re not planning on us traipsing around in this weather, Mulder. Nothing says ’fun’ like being soaking wet.”

“Think of it as an adventure. I know you like adventures.”

She glanced at him, feeling almost giddy with their easy banter. “My idea of a fun adventure involves less rain and more heat. And maybe a nice, cozy cabin with a fireplace.”

Mulder raised an eyebrow and winked at her. “Keep talking, Agent Scully! What about the heat?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Be careful what you wish for. I might be willing to turn up the heat—and you might not be able to handle it after all,” she playfully replied, not shying away from his look.

Mulder blinked, but was the first to break eye contact, his eyes refocusing on the road. He took another sunflower seed, chewing thoughtfully. “Ever heard of the West Virginia Mothman, Scully? I plan on making his acquaintance today.”

Scully kept watching him, a small smile playing on her lips. “I can’t say I have, Mulder. But if it’s got you fascinated, I’m not sure, it’s something I want to meet in the first place,” she quipped.

Mulder smiled at her indulgently. “Oh, you of little faith. Wait and see. We’re going to meet Mr. Murphy at ten, and he’ll show us to the clearing where he saw the Mothman.”

A clearing in the forest and a Mothman? So much for that fantasy of a weekend getaway, she sighed, leaning back in her seat. But secretly, she couldn’t suppress a smile. She loved it when Mulder got like that. His enthusiasm was utterly contagious and was one of the many things that had made the decision to stay on this weird assignment all those years ago surprisingly easy. She shook her head at herself. Mulder’s passion for the unexplainable might be charming, but one of these days it will get us killed, no doubt.

“You know, Mulder, sometimes I wonder if your mysterious creature sightings aren’t just your way of getting me alone in the middle of nowhere.”

Mulder chuckled, his eyes still on the road. “And what if you were right?”

Scully’s smile widened, and she leaned her head back against the headrest, closing her eyes. “Then I’d say you’re more of a romantic than I would have thought,” she joked lightly, but her tone held some seriousness.

Mulder glanced at her, a genuine smile on his lips. “Who knows, Scully? Maybe I am.”

[ttuesday]

Sorry if you’ve done one like this already but pretty please could you do the fellers reacting to you yelling that you love them (for the first time) in the middle of an argument?

Thank youuuuu

ANON ARE YOU A MIND READER? I WAS LITERALLY DAYDREAMING ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY

Arthur

Arthur’s in shock. He can’t believe you just said that. It's something he always hoped he'd hear you say one day, but he didn't think it’d be today. Arthur's surprised that you picked now, during an argument to finally say it and you certainly catch him off guard.

Arthur can’t argue after hearing you say that. He isn't annoyed or pissed off anymore, how the hell could he feel like that after hearing what you just said? Arthur's known he’s in love with you for a while but he didn’t think he’d ever have the courage to say it out loud but he guesses that now's the best time to say it back.

That insecure part of him isn’t sure what to think nor does he understand how someone as incredible as you can love someone like him. “You… you really mean that?” He asks, his face becoming flushed as he smiles at you.

Dutch

Dutch goes quiet and raises his eyebrows after you say it. He’s taken aback but still pissed off since y’all are arguing. That cynical part of him is wondering if you've strategically picked now to say it as a way of getting out of the argument.

Dutch actually gets more annoyed now. Not only is he worked up because of the argument but now you've got him feeling all mushy and flustered on the inside. He has a lot of conflicting feelings.

“After all this time, you choose to say that now?” Dutch asks, his tone making you unsure of how he feels. Suddenly he moves towards you and pulls you in for a passionate kiss, deciding to release all this pent up energy in a better way *wink wink*.

Charles

Charles feels like an ass for arguing with you, especially after you say that mid-argument. It was a petty argument anyways, not something he would usually argue about but he was in a bad mood.

Once you say it, it puts a lot into perspective for him and it makes Charles realise what y’all are arguing about isn’t that important. As long as you have him and he has you then life is good.

“You know I love you too but I think our timing in saying this could’ve been better” he smiles slightly, pulling you into a big hug and not letting you go for a few minutes.

Micah

The fuck did you just say? The best way to describe the look on Micah’s face is fear and confusion. You can practically see his pupils shrink and his mouth hang open, trailing off mid-sentence.

As much as Micah wants to believe you and wants someone to love him, he doesn’t see how you could love him of all people. No one's ever said that to him before so this is an entirely new experience for him.

“Very funny” he says, composing himself and deciding to walk away so he can gather his thoughts. He needs a fuck ton of reassurance and to know that you mean what you said.

John

John takes a double take at you and without missing a beat, continues to argue with you. Did he momentarily go deaf and not hear you say you love him? Nope, he heard you but he's also very worked up over this argument.

This reaction (or lack of reaction) completely takes you by surprise. Angry he completely ignored what you just said, you argue back some more.

Eventually you storm off and that’s when John decides to shout after you “And I love you too goddammit”. Wow, how romantic of him.

Javier

All that angers and annoyance completely leaves his body the second the word "love" leaves your mouth. He asks if you’re sure and once you nod your head, a big smile spreads across his face.

What argument? Javier doesn’t even remember what ye were arguing about anymore. There's only one thing that he's thinking about right now and that's how much he loves you.

Making his way over to you, Javier brings his lips close to yours before whispering “I love you too” and kissing you. Be prepared to hear him say it at least another 10 times that day, he can't help but say it to you every few hours.

Bill

Congratulations, you’ve made Bill malfunction. For a few seconds after you said it, he actually keeps arguing, his brain slowly processing what you said.

When it all finally clicks and he fully comprehends what you said, he goes very quiet and becomes shy and flustered. It's very obviously he's blushing and honestly, he looks cute.

“W-What? You love me like how you’d love a favourite food? Or do you mean like… love love?” He’s completely frazzled and wants to know exactly what you mean by 'love'.

Sean

Sean’s jaw practically drops to the floor. He didn't really care too much about the argument to begin with and Sean was aware he was losing the argument so in a way, he's happy you've said this now. Now ye can pretend like the whole disagreement didn’t even happen.

Because this is Sean, he feels the need to come up with a suave, kinda charming but also cheeky response so he says "Well, I've known you're head over heels in love with me for weeks".

Honestly, he understands if you slap him. He just thought it'd be a cool response but he quickly says he loves you too and practically smothers you in kisses.

Hosea

Hosea gives you a little smile and tilts his head as he looks at you with adoration in his eyes. He's loved you for a while now and hearing you say it now was a nice surprise he wasn't expecting.

He shakes his head and says you always did know how to get out of an argument. “I love you too but you’re still wrong” just cause he loves you doesn’t mean Hosea will shy away from a disagreement.

He loves you but has no problem continuing with the argument. He knows at the end you'll both kiss and make up anyways and he prefers to get any issues sorted now instead of putting them on the backburner.

[sundayswiththeilluminati]

What Cristabel Did

EXTENSIVE SPOILERS for Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth below. If you haven’t read both books, skip the rest of this post. In fact just get off tumblr and go read them instead. I guarantee they’re better than anything else you’ll find here. 

I think I know why John Gaius didn’t tell his disciples about the perfect Lyctorhood, and I don’t think it had to do with sharing power or with AL. I think it’s the same reason why Augustine and Mercymorn hate each other, why Anastasia was the only one to figure out the Eightfold Word, and why Mercy doesn’t want to hear her cavalier’s name.

tl;dr I think Cristabel and Alfred tried to kill some number of the original disciples, forcing them to try for lyctorhood before the ritual was fully understood, and John kept quiet because he didn’t want to tell them they’d killed their cavaliers for nothing.

The handwritten note at the end of the sermon on cavaliers and necromancers says, “valancy says one flesh one end sounds like instructions for a sex toy. can’t stop thinking about that so can someone stop cris and alfred before the sex toy phrase catches on, thanks.” This early in the Nine Houses’ history the entire concept of necromancer and cavalier is still being figured out. It sounds like Cristabel and Alfred were the main drivers behind the idea of the cavalier-necromancer relationship as a formal, sacred oath, coming up with the phrase “one flesh, one end” in the process. Much much later Silas Octakiseron brands the ritual of lyctorhood a mortal sin and heresy as soon as he hears what it entails, because he treats the cavalier-necromancer bond as a sacrament akin to a holy marriage. To trespass against that bond, he declares, was to sin against the Emperor himself. The sermon before the handwritten note backs up that idea, talking about the combination as having all sorts of profound religious symbolism.

Therefore: what if the disciples were working on the ritual of lyctorhood and hadn’t yet figured the cavalier didn’t have to die, when Cristabel and Alfred decided they had to take action to keep any of them from trying? What if, like Silas in Canaan House, Cristabel decided the idea of the adept killing their cavalier was rank heresy and had to be prevented by any means necessary, and convinced Alfred of it as well? Cristabel was from the Eighth House, though early enough that it may not have taken on its hardline personality - then again, perhaps Cristabel’s actions are why it did take on that hardline personality. Augustine calls her an idiot, but also “a fanatic,” and his own brother someone who “regretted that he wasn’t.”

Augustine says that he became a lyctor “under scrambling pressure,” and when Harrow tells the Emperor that she became a lyctor under duress, he replies, “You aren’t the first.” Then when Augustine is talking to John about Alfred, he says, “I have built an entire myriad on the idea that I could’ve made him come around, given five minutes.” That’s in response to John saying, “No one could make him do anything he didn’t want to.” That could mean either Augustine thinks he could have talked Alfred into willingly dying to perform the ritual, or that he could have talked Alfred out of doing something else dire. The way John phrases it makes me think it’s the latter, because in the context of the conversation they’re discussing Cristabel’s influence, and John knows that the lyctoral ritual can be performed even if the cavalier is unwilling. 

So: Cristabel and Alfred decide that they need to do whatever it takes to keep the other disciples from performing the ritual. Either by accident or design, they put Augustine in a situation where he’s facing imminent death - maybe not intentionally on Alfred’s part, but it happens. Augustine chooses to kill his brother and take in his soul to survive as a lyctor, becoming the first to ascend. This fits with Augustine’s loathing of Mercymorn, who in his mind forced him to murder his brother; of his own immortality, since it was gained at the cost of murdering family; and of necromancy in general. He has to convince himself that he could have talked Alfred into making the sacrifice if there were time to ask because otherwise the guilt will destroy him.

After ascension, Augustine’s probably fighting Alfred’s soul, but he’s a powerful spirit magician. Like Ianthe he may be scattered but he’s still present. So now he rounds on Cristabel and probably mortally wounds her. He means to finish the job but Mercymorn intervenes, alerted to what’s happening by all the chaos. She finds her cavalier dying. Cristabel asks her to avenge her and kill Augustine and, since she’s already dying, to use her soul to do it. Mercy finishes Cristabel off and swallows her soul, becoming the second lyctor. So from the very beginning Mercymorn is absolutely set on Augustine’s death and blames him for Cristabel’s death and, in an indirect way, forcing her to become a lyctor as well.

After that it gets a little fuzzy. Events could go several different ways and we just don’t have enough info. I favor the idea that maybe the rampage continues - or maybe Cristabel and Alfred had set all of them up to be in mortal peril (possibly in space, where an adept’s powers won’t work but a lyctor’s would) - because of Mercy’s quote at Cytherea’s funeral: “I never saw her cry except once. The day after. When we put together the research. When she became a Lyctor. I said, There was no alternative. She said, We had the choice to stop.” Mercy saying “there was no alternative” and Cytherea answering with “we had the choice to stop” makes me think everyone was in duress. Mercy saying, “the day after. When we put together the research,” makes me think that they hadn’t fully pieced together the ritual even though six people had already ascended; Augustine improvised. “The day after” also makes me think that most of the lyctors ascended in a single night. If Augustine through Cassiopeia ascended in a group, only Cytherea and Anastasia would be left. Loveday volunteered for the rite in hopes of curing Cytherea, so that’s a non-distress motive for them to ascend as well. That leaves only Anastasia, who now has plenty of time to figure it out on her own.

Where’s John in all this? Remember what Ianthe said when she was trying to regrow her arm? She thought John would tell her to try it on her own first to build her own skill. Maybe John was letting his disciples work out lyctorhood on their own, expecting that they’d figure out the full ritual in time. If they’d planned to try the imperfect ritual, he probably would have stepped in and said, “No, no one has to die, yes now you’re mad at me because I knew the answer all along but it was a learning experience okay.” But because Augustine had to make a scrambling improvisation, John didn’t get the chance to intervene. So before he can do anything, Augustine and Mercy, plus some number of the middle four, have already killed their cavaliers and swallowed their souls (meaning no resurrection). He’s faced with the choice of telling them that those murders weren’t necessary, or keeping the secret and letting Loveday and Cytherea go through with the imperfect ritual. John tells himself that it’ll hurt them all too much if he tells them they killed their cavaliers for nothing, and Loveday’s willing to die already. He stays quiet.

That leaves only Anastasia. With the benefit of time and the others’ experience, Anastasia realizes the ritual can be done without killing the cavalier. She plays this close to the vest, uncertain of her results and unwilling to traumatize the others unless she’s sure. Just in case she’s right, she bans everyone except John from watching her attempt. If she succeeds and Samael lives, they can figure out how to break it to the others. But something goes wrong - or John sabotages her - and Samael dies, leaving Anastasia thinking she didn’t have it right after all.

A myriad later, John and the other lyctors have yet to allow or invite any other adepts to attain lyctorhood, believing the cost is too high. But now they’re down to four lyctors and three Resurrection Beasts, and those four lyctors are showing the strain. So John invites the heirs and their cavaliers to Canaan House. He knows his first disciples left the necessary information behind to put together the rite - only the imperfect rite, but that’s okay because this time there won’t be anyone making the choice under duress. As he tells Harrow, “I intended for the new Lyctors to become Lyctors after thinking and contemplating and genuinely understanding their sacrifice—an act of bravery, not an act of fear and desperation. Nobody was meant to lose their lives unwillingly at Canaan House.” If the cavaliers are okay with it, he’s not on the hook, he reasons. He’ll keep his secret and get new lyctors without any fresh guilt on his conscience.

Except of course it doesn’t work out that way. As usual, John’s future plans are sabotaged by his past plans coming back to haunt him. He ends up gaining one and a half lyctors at the unexpected cost of one old lyctor, so that’s a net gain of half a lyctor with several heirs dead in the process. And then an even newer plan gets sabotaged by an even older plan, leaving him with one and a half, possibly two functioning lyctors. Meanwhile Camilla and Palamedes are out there probably as a functional lyctor-cavalier pair that he doesn’t know about, because Palamedes has been stuck in freeze-frame hell for long enough to come to the same conclusions as Anastasia. It’s not gonna go well for John, ey?

[princessofprocrastination]

I Messed Up Didn’t I? (Dream)

MASTERLIST

pairing : dreamwastaken x singer!reader (angst) 

summary : after the breakup, he sees that you’re growing as a singer, while he’s suffering alone, but you don’t think that about him, seeing he’s growing on youtube. 

a/n : you’re replacing gwen in the voice! 

hey! this isn’t going to be the only part! stay tuned for more!

it ended after an argument. he was constantly on his computer, and would forget every important day. from your birthday, to your anniversaries, he forgot them all. 

he even would disregard it, saying it wasn’t important anyway, that everyday could be a special day. that hurt you a lot. you two have been together for a long time and you didn’t want to lose it. you couldn’t afford to lose him, not like this. 

sometimes it felt like he didn’t love you anymore, that he didn’t feel the same anymore. it hurt to see him on his phone, or on discord call with his friends. 

you thought his friends were amazing and supportive, but his friends took away your limited time together, and hurt like a bitch. 

at first, you were okay with his constant video games, knowing that’s his job now, and that he’s been supportive of you, and you should be supportive of him too. 

at first, it had been tough, you brought in the money, paid for the bills, bought groceries since you were making money through music. you weren’t stingy, you are totally fine with spending money for him, but it felt wrong at the same time. 

your mum always told you never settle for a guy, that he would do things for you if he wanted to. and that stuck to you, but you love dream, with everything in you. you couldn’t afford to leave him, to break this long time relationship. 

you two had been there for each other since the roots. and to see it crumble like this hurt a lot. 

he didn’t notice. he didn’t care enough to ask you how your day went anymore. he was too busy on his computer. 

you made the effort. you asked him the usual questions, to which he’s reply with a ‘’m fine’ or simply not answer. you brought him food whenever you notice he’s been skipping meals to sit on his desk. 

you got him a new monitor, gaming chair, a new desk. everything he could’ve ever wanted. if it made him happy, you’d buy it, even if it took time away from you together. 

he didn’t notice how you’re slipping away, barely talking to him, barely even sleeping on the same bed anymore. he didn’t notice the constant emails on your phone. or maybe he did, and he didn’t care. 

he didn’t notice that you two were basically living separate lives in the same house. he didn’t notice that you were thinking about leaving. 

it never occurred to dream that you’d snap one day, that you’d leave him. it never occurred to him that you’d buy your own house one day and leave him, alone in his house. 

it started small, you invited him to go to a dinner you had with your producers. he said he would left out, so you let him be, understanding it completely. 

then you’d ask multiple times for him to just get out of that chair and eat dinner with you, even if it’s just once. you told him you missed him, yet he still pushed you away. 

you didn’t understand where the relationship went wrong. you tried your best to work it out, talk it through, but it seemed like he didn’t even want it anymore, judging by the way he’s acting. 

he says it’s just a part of the relationship, getting comfortable. but you didn’t think getting comfortable meant that you both didn’t talk to each other all day. you didn’t want this type of comfortable. 

“just this once, let’s go get dinner. we can go eat at your favourite place.” you begged him. 

“no, i want to finish editing, can’t you go yourself, maybe bring me takeout?” he replies to you. 

“i could but i just want to spend time with you.” you begged again, almost whining. 

“just go, we spend so much time together anyway.” dream tells you, almost out of anger. 

“we haven-” you tried to say before getting cut off. 

“OMG JUST LEAVE, I’M STRESSED OUT RIGHT NOW, LEAVE” he screams at you. 

“i just-” you tried again, almost crying at that point. 

“LEAVE.” he scolded again. 

you left the room quietly, not wanting a screaming fest to start again. 

you sat on your shared bed. thinking about what went wrong. how did your relationship become this bad. 

you packed a bag. you didn’t care about your clothes, you could always buy new ones. you didn’t bother packing much, just the necessities. 

you walked out the door, grabbing your car keys on your way out. 

as you started you car, you sat there for a while. this was it huh? 

you told yourself that you made the right decision getting a house before this argument came.

you didn’t mean to hide it away from him, in fact, you wanted to bring it up during dinner, but since the dinner invitation didn’t work, you didn’t bother. 

the longer you drove, the more sad you became. tears trickled down your cheeks as you drove silently to a hotel before needing to sit a long drive from florida to california. 

you sat on the hotel bed, thinking about dream. you hated ending it this way. you didn’t even think this would end. you were planning to get married, for god’s sake. 

you cried even more thinking about it. 

you felt alone. but you knew you still had friends who supported you. but it felt like there was a void left unfilled after you left that house.

maybe it’s for the best. 

-

DREAM’S POV

i heard the door close. i heard it all. i heard her packing her stuff. but i don’t know why i didn’t stop her. i was too busy streaming. 

it didn’t hit me until a couple days later. and when the days came, it was too late. 

i knew i messed up. 

when i told george and sapnap, they were furious. they said they warned me before. they asked why i’m not looking for her. 

i told them it’s cause i knew you were no where near me. 

i knew i messed up. 

terribly. 

-

YOUR POV

months went by so quick.

the hold in your chest unhealed. but you knew you needed to get over it. 

you saw twitter, instagram, youtube. you saw that he had been blowing up. 

over 13 million subscribers. you were impressed. you were immensely proud of him. you wish you were there to celebrate it with him. but you weren’t. 

fortunately for you, months after you moved to california, you were offered to be a judge on the voice. 

you didn’t waste a second telling your team to say yes. you grew up watching the voice. and plus, you got to meet the john legend, kelly clarkson and blake sheldon. who would miss that opportunity. 

you spent a while trying to settle down in your new house. it was huge. huge for one person. but you needed it, the time alone. 

you liked it peaceful and quiet, it helped you heal slowly. it helped you to move on. 

you came out with a full album since then, which ended up being a hit. you were super grateful for the love you’ve been getting. 

now, you sat in one of the judges chairs for blind auditions. 

your hairstylist was making sure your hair was fully sprayed and looked good. you made small conversation with her, thanking her for making you look good for the camera. 

there was a camera for each judge. you looked into the one right in front of you and said. “holy shit i can’t believe i’m here.” 

john, who sat next to you laughed at your antics. you glanced at him and gave him a grin. 

“we’re ready.” the producer said to the judges, signaling that they were starting. 

audition after audition, you met amazing artists. 

“you’re amazing and i used my block on john for you. if you didn’t know, he’s a little scary when he’s competitive. i would love for you to be on my team.” you said to an amazing singer you turned your chair for. 

she sung an r&b song, to which got a four chair turn, but you were desperate. you needed her. 

“um, oh my god, this is hard.” she said to us, before choosing her mentor. 

kelly and blake chimed in, making her turn her head to look at them. 

“no. please, don’t listen or look at them, just me.” you said to her, practically begging. 

john laughed at this and said. “holy shit, you’re that desperate?” 

“yes, john, i love her.” you laughed along with the other two judges. 

“well-” the artist started. you crossed your fingers, hoping that she would pick you. you had a good chance as john was blocked. but kelly was good competition too, not counting out blake. 

“i pick.” she paused. 

“oh my god, spit it out already.” i screamed and laughed a little. 

“i pick y/n” she announced. 

“HOLY SHIT YES.” you stood from your chair and jumped a little, excited. 

“you losers.” you told the other three judges. 

“yeah, yeah, whatever,” kelly played along. 

-

blind auditions went along really smoothly. 

you’ve seen your face plastered all over the voice’s instagram and twitter. they even posted a clip of you being excited after getting picked as a mentor for the r&b artist. 

you were having a blast. your family from back home would facetime you and congratulate you or laugh at the stupid things you did on tv. 

what you didn’t know was that dream had seen them all. after all, he hadn’t paid attention to you before, why start now? your little jumps on your judge seat as you waited for the next audition. your little shouts to amazing singers auditioning. 

he was proud, to say the least. 

in this couple of months, he’d seen you grow into a young and successful woman. he was sad that he couldn’t be there to congratulate you through all your achievements. 

but that’s what he gets for abandoning his one and only love. 

at first, he didn’t even look into what you were doing. not until a few weeks after you left, george and sapnap had said something along the lines of your name and you being a judge on the voice. 

them two had been purposely teasing him. they knew that he treated you like absolute shit before you left and they made it a thing to make sure clay knew that. 

you weren’t in contact with dream for obvious reasons but you facetimed george and sapnap constantly, even before and after your shows. 

they had been through it all with you. since you were only a couple years older than nick, you two clicked well together, always talking about tiktok trends and the new lingo. but you don’t count off george for being one of your bestfriends. 

you actually had shown the camera once or twice when you facetimed george and sapnap. well, now the world knew that you three knew each other. they just didn’t know how you three met. 

twitter blew up with lots of hashatgs about you three, talking about ‘when worlds’ collide’.

you thought that was funny. they even asked you to link up and be friends with dream, who you knew was dream, but you’ve always ignored those types of comments. 

you saw the ship comments between you and george. you two would laugh it off and constantly say that you two are just friends. he’s your exes bestfriend, that would be awkward. 

dream saw it all, the facetime calls are all over the internet. your supporters were shocked to see that you knew each other. they didn’t know that dream and you knew each other though. 

he saw that you’ve been ignoring the comments to link up with him. his heart broke at that. but he deserved it. he ignored you for the longest time. now it’s your turn.

his heart broke at the shipping comments between you and george after knowing how often the facetime. 

dream knew he deserved it. he deserved all the pain coming to him. 

he felt grateful of his new, large following on the internet, but it felt like nothing compared to having you in his arms. why had he taken you for granted?

he was determined to see you again, to ask you to come back. he needed you. 

PART TWO!

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[borom1r]

💕 ✨💎💢🎥🏳‍🌈 + Saw (all the Saw movies you enjoy if you want)

I’ll just do th franchise as a whole instead of individually shfhdh

✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?

ITS COMPLEX and not in like a “oooo jigsaw is RIGHT” way but a Everyone Kind Of Fucking Sucks, At Least A Little way and a Nobody Is Morally Superior way. I like seeing fucked up little bastards go thru hell and then when I like them a lot but they died I like pretending that Didn’t happen and making them kiss other fucked up little bastards like I’m playing with the world’s worst barbies

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

yeeee i LOVE!!!!!!! LOVE when Eric is chasing Amanda thru the tunnels im sorry that’s so sexy. same when he’s beating John to death in 2. there’s nothing morally wrong with violence against serial torturers in fact he deserves sloppy for it. (half joking)

um for a serious answer tho: obvs the end of 1 where your forehead is pressed against mine. also when u lock Hoffman up in 3D. mmmmnn the scene in 2 where we see Eric thru the cage and he’s struggling w/ himself, and when earlier he calls Daniel. any time in IV where Art grabs his waist to explain things. the water cube scene just for the imagery

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

HI I FEEL LIKE U HAVE ALL HEARD ME SAY THESE THINGS ALREADY but it’s been a lil too long since I just talked abt Lawrence..

Lar makes me insane he is so layered and everyone who is upset about him becoming a jigsaw disciple makes me. rhrhfudufhdhf WHAT. that man was fully intending on just sitting in the dark doing nothing until Adam woke up if u take away his structure he crumbles and guess what John did! ripped it away and said “look, I have a newer, shinier, Better structure” so OFC Lawrence was like. Yes Please! ofc he was. he is a sad little man he is the prettiest dilf in the whole world i want to pick him up and shake him like a ragdoll. he contains MULTITUDES and some of those multitudes are just being a weird fucking gremlin during group therapy. I love him for it.

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

YES I HAVE. A LOT. i will just link th post lol: here!

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

HMMM. YEA where do i. even START.

1) the original RBT in SAW 0.5 was fully functional and made of metal. as in it probably could’ve killed someone; the one Shawnee wears was also fully functional in that it opens and legitimately could explode a styrofoam head, but was much lighter and much much safer

2) Cary got stuck in his shackle one day. props used the wrong pin and couldn’t get it back open skfjdh

3) the needles in the needle pit? about 50% real, 50% CG. needles removed obviously, and filled with ranch dressing I believe

4) almost every character in the nerve gas house can be seen in/around Jill’s clinic at some point in one of the other films. I BELIEVE it’s only Daniel + Laura who don’t cameo, but I’m not 100% sure

5) about 75% of the time we see Eric in IV, it’s not actually Donnie. very funny to listen to the director’s commentary while Darren points out each time it’s Not Donnie— they only got him on set for a day

6) additionally, the rat scene wasn’t part of the script, that was just Donnie fucking around + Darren liked it so much he kept it

7) the majority of the traps in IV were fully functional! the mausoleum trap was legit, the ice blocks were real, the scalping seat was real and was intended to be entirely practical but they couldn’t get the scalp application to look right so THAT had to be CG (the chair was still real!), the motel room trap was real! fucked up!

8) very little of the SFX in V was digital. specifically the ones you’d expect— Charles’ corpse was a practical effect, as was Mallick’s arm! it was a fully articulated prosthesis!

9) they didn’t use stunt doubles or CG for the water cube, that was ALL Scott Patterson in a metal box with a team of effects people on standby. the front + back panels were hinged, so they’d roll until he gave the signal + said team would rush in, release both panels and drain the water. I think one of my fav bts pics ever is of Scott with a snorkel so they could fill the cube back up before rolling lol

10) 3D was supposed to be 2 movies but bc V sucked nobody saw VI, it tanked too and Lionsgate said fuck this shit + smashed it into one movie. which is why it feels like such a clusterfuck. somewhere out there is a Lionsgate exec who I plan on personally breaking their kneecaps for this. we got stuck with Jigsaw and Spiral because of that asshole and they WILL pay.

💢 what do you NOT like about your hyperfixation? is there something you would want to change about it?

i do not like the fandom. don’t get me wrong I have a lot of complaints abt the series as a whole particularly how it treats women and I think in general it is not nearly as good past the first two as people give it credit for. 3 is a horrible movie imho but god forbid you dislike it/prefer anything after it. but overall I think it’s a franchise you cannot take seriously bc if you do it’s like beating your head against a brick wall. I love it so much but it’s quite literally Not That Deep. it is the same level as John’s cult bullshit it sounds complex but really it’s like. Ok Grandpa Let’s Get You To Bed :)

anyways i don’t think I have any followers here who didn’t also follow my old blog so i feel comfortable saying Yea, I remade bc of ppl in the saw fandom w/ zero comprehension of fiction vs reality and god I don’t mean that in a proship way I mean that in a “just because I like a fictional rancid man doesn’t mean I base my entire morality around excusing his actions.” no I’m not openly critical of my interests bc it’s exhausting and I come here to be a mentally ill faggot on main not write essays defining why he’s Horrible, Actually. tiresome.

anyways saw becoming popular was a mistake

[storiesbymads]

HOT SUMMER NIGHTS ( haydn fleury . )

Haydn and Y/N are childhood friends that take their families tradition of summers at their cabin into their own hands when their parents decide they aren’t going this year

warnings: sexual references, alcohol

wc: 4.1k

add yourself to my taglist!

Summer was your favorite time of the year. It’s been your favorite since you were six when your parents decided that you and the Fleurys were going to spend every summer from then on at a cabin they’d purchased together. It was situated on a small lake—that could really be considered a very large pond—and it had enough yard to let your golden retriever run five miles before it had to turn around and come back.

John had enlisted both sons to build some semblance of a fire pit when you turned fifteen. Haydn and Cale finally had a good and functioning pit… two summers later. That started the tradition of the three of you sitting down by the pit when both sets of parents had tucked in for the night and sharing stories into the early hours of the morning. And you may or may not have snuck into your dad’s supply of Natty Light while you did so.

Your days at that cabin were filled with probably the happiest memories you’d ever made. Haydn always forced you to go paddle boarding with him or canoeing during the day—you preferred the canoeing since he would just let you tan near the front while he did… whatever he did. Your parents pretty much left you to your own devices until dinner where all of you would gather around the enormous dining room table and spend an hour or two just talking. There was also the occasional game of Monopoly that totally didn’t end in Cale flipping the board that one time when Haydn gave you too much money as banker for six rounds in a row. You thought you were being really sneaky.

All of that being until your parents decided that they weren’t going up to the cabin this year. And neither were the Fleurys.

“Can you believe this,” you groaned into the phone. Haydn chuckled at your response to his phone call. You’d been on the call approximately 3 seconds at this point.

“I know but did you really expect us to go up there for the rest of our lives,” he replied.

“Uh, yeah,” you said. “We’re going to continue the tradition forever and before you know it we’ll be bringing our own kids up there. They’ll be best friends just like us.”

You really only included that last part to keep Haydn from knowing that you didn’t picture the tradition going on as it was right now. You did imagine the two of you going up to that cabin for the rest of your lives but you only pictured one family being involved in the whole ordeal.

“You know we could always just go by ourselves,” he said.

And the idea sparked joy into your heart. Until he picked you up from your house and you realized that you’d be spending all summer with him. Alone.

“You ready for this?” he asked as he helped you put your two duffel bags into the trunk of his car. His right hand found your thigh as he started up the engine. “Time for the summer of our lives.”

“Hell yeah,” you said as you hooked your phone up the aux in his car. That was one of your undisputed rules. On road trips, whoever wasn’t driving picked the music.

The ride down to the cabin felt shorter than usual. You liked to chalk it up to the fact that you were just older now and car rides didn’t feel as interminably long as they did when you were eight but it was probably due to Haydn making you laugh harder than you’ve laughed in six months the entire time. It seemed like you’d just pulled out of your driveway when you pulled into the gravel one of your cabin.

“Do you remember when Cale jumped over the bonfire and almost lit his ass on fire,” you giggled as you lugged your luggage up the wooden steps to the front door.

“Yeah, yeah I do,” Haydn said as he found the key under the welcome mat. He remembered exactly the moment you were talking about. The two of you were sixteen and testing out the unfinished fire pit and he was seconds away from spilling all the feelings he’d had for six years when his brother decided to test fate.

You inhaled deeply the second you stepped into the living room—out of habit of course. It was exactly like you remembered seeing as you’d been there just last year. It was odd not having your mom there to shove you the rest of the way through the door and forcing you to help put up the groceries before you got a chance to put your stuff in your room. Now that you thought about it, you could totally take your parents bedroom for your own and sleep in a California King for the next two months.

You hadn’t even noticed Haydn had gone back to the car until he lugged the yeti cooler in behind you and dropped it by the kitchen island. The two of you would definitely have to go to the grocery store in town for the rest of your food but you could push that off until tomorrow.

“You wanna head down to the dock?” you asked, readjusting the duffel bags on your shoulders. There was a side compartment in one of them full of nothing but bikinis and you were just itching to start using them.

“You’re ready to go down already? Don’t you usually ward off going outside for the first 24 hours of the trip?” he asked, grabbing his own bags and following you up the stairs that led to the small second level that housed three of the four bedrooms.

“Let me get changed and I’ll go down all by myself if I have to,” you scoffed, pushing open the door to your parents usual bedroom and dropping the duffels on the bed. It seemed that Haydn had the same idea as you had because he was currently dropping all his luggage onto his parents bed. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t sneak a peak at him taking his shirt off before reminding him his door was wide open for the world to see. Of course, all he said in response was that it was just you before shutting the door quietly and changing into his swim shorts.

You tried to shake the thought of Haydn seeing you in the same position. You tried to shake the thought of Haydn being the one taking your shirt off. It didn’t work.

You shut your own door before grabbing a red set out of your bikini compartment. It made your ass look great, not that that was your whole goal in wearing it, but it couldn’t hurt.

A soft knock at your door alerted you to the fact that Haydn was already done. You let him know he could come in while you pulled your hair up into a ponytail. You eyed him in the body length mirror that faced the door and, man, did you wish his mom still dressed him. The 5.5 inch inseam shorts did wonders for his thighs and he had on a canes snapback on that you were determined to steal from him later.

You weren’t doing Haydn any favors either. The thong bikini had to be his new favorite shade of red and you had your hair pulled up to reveal the small tattoo the two of you shared at the base of your shoulder blade.

“You ready?” he asked.

“Did you bring claws?” You walked past him to the hallway closet that held all of your bath and beach towels. You grabbed one for both of you, tossing him one, before making your way down the stairs.

“The mango ones,” he replied as he followed you, only about a step or two behind. You gasped in delight as you skipped the bottom step, rushing to the cooler and grabbing said mango white claw out of it. You grabbed Haydn one of his beers while you were in there, too. You weren’t heartless.

The dock was probably your favorite part of the cabin. Your mom had had it installed two summers ago and it was big enough to hold about six lawn chairs and a few beach towels across—which, by the way, was way too big for the lake but you did tan every single day while you were there.

The water was fully up to the dock when you got down there. You definitely could submerge like half your leg if you sat on the edge.

Haydn hooked up his phone to the speaker he’d mounted to the singular wall the dock had. He’d made sure the small roofed area kept the weather from dealing too much damage to it over the time you were gone.

“What music do you want?” he asked, squinting as he scrolled through his various playlists on spotify. A good ⅔ of them had been made by you and forced into his library but that didn’t matter to him. He listened to all of them.

“Do last year’s. I haven’t gotten around to making one for us this year yet,” you said as you laid out your towel. “Hey, do you think you could sunscreen my back for me?”

“Yeah, yeah, hold on,” he said before MKTO started flowing through the speakers. He grabbed the SPF out of your beach bag of sorts before sitting himself down on your thighs.

“Undo the strings, I don’t want lines,” you hummed, already enjoying the feel of the sun on your skin, and the feel of Hayden’s weight on top of you.

His breathing stuttered slightly, not enough for even you to notice, when he undid the thin tie that held up the cherry red bikini top. Squirting the lotion straight into your back, he rubbed it in. God, he could’ve spent the rest of his vacation right here.

“There you go,” he whispered once he was finished, pushing himself up from you and walking back over to where the rest of his stuff was. He grabbed his own towel, laying it out beside yours.

“Do you want sunscreen?” you asked him, opening your eyes slightly only to see him starting to lay down.

“No, I’m not staying here for long,” he replied. “The lake is calling to me.”

“You can still burn in the lake, Hay. You should know, we go over this every time.”

“This time’ll be different,” he said and he sounded so sure of himself.

If only it had worked out like that.

“Oh my god I can’t move,” he groaned into the leather of the living room couch. Your eyes were glued to the incredibly red skin of his back that you’d already lathered in aloe vera. You’d already commented on the fact that he matched your bathing suit. “The sun fucking hates me.”

“I’m sure he does.” You patted his calf twice before grabbing one of the seven remote controls on the coffee table in front of you and turned on the small box tv situated in the corner of the room. If the two of you kept this up, you’d need to do some serious renovations in the coming years.

It took two whole weeks for Haydn’s sunburn to heal enough for him to spend time outside without a shirt on. And seeing as he was your only company, the two of you had spent a hell of a lot of time inside. One thing Haydn’s lack of sun protection didn’t affect, though, was the nightly bonfire you had out back in the fire pit. You’d be surprised if you had enough firewood to last you through July with your evening antics as they were.

Haydn crumpled his Bud Light box and set it at the base of the fire pit before stacking the night’s supply of wood on top of it. He had the fire going strong in a solid ten minutes.

“I honestly don’t know how you do it. If i was stuck in the wild without you I’m pretty sure I’d just not survive,” you said when he took his spot in the fold out chair beside yours. He was close enough to you that you could smell his cologne and you could practically feel his body heat.

“Fire God,” he said, waving the extra long stick he always used as a poker. You were sure he’d had that stick for close to ten years at this point.

His eyes stayed glued to you as you told him about one of the bonfire’s you’d had when you were still back in high school. The two of you had gone to different schools then and it was probably why you’d looked forward to these trips so much.

About an hour later, the fire had diminished down to embers but neither of you cared. The two of you were so lost in conversation, you could care less about the dwindling flames. Or, at least, Haydn didn’t care.

“Oh, shit. I think it’s time to head inside,” you chuckled as you gestured to the pit. He nodded, getting up from his spot and pouring the rest of the water he’d switched to for the night before you guys came outside over the embers. He held out his free hand when he was done for you to take, helping you out of your chair. You were thankful for the lack of light or you’re sure Haydn would’ve seen the way your cheeks were burning red.

The next few days passed like clockwork. You woke up half past nine, Haydn at ten, and you made breakfast together. He was, surprisingly, not half bad at making an omelet or really anything that primarily involved eggs so you gave him most of the reigns in the kitchen. When the two of you finished eating, it was straight out to the dock until Haydn got bored and either forced you to swim with him or to get into the canoe tied off to your right.

“Y/N/N, I am begging you,” he whined. He was completely covered in sunscreen this time, you’d made sure of that, but at least he’d ditched the t-shirts. You’d chosen a white bikini today. They had full coverage bottoms and Haydn didn’t know whether to rejoice and silently hate the manufacturers.

“Hay, I just need five more minutes,” you sighed, turning your head so that you could face him from where you were laid out on your stomach. You’d already done your other side and you just wanted it to be even.

“Fine,” he said. You smiled at him in thanks, thinking that’d be the end of it and he’d make you paddle board with him when you were finished. Then, you felt his hands push underneath you and suddenly you were off the towel and pressed into his chest, bridal style.

“What the fuck!” you shrieked in the midst of the havoc. Haydn laughed briefly and before you knew it he’d jumped off the dock with you helplessly in tow.

The water was warmer than you expected but it still jolted you awake. The lake was just deep enough that you had to wade to stay afloat but not much deeper than that.

“I was almost done,” you whined, smacking him lightly on the chest when you resurfaced. You’d separated underwater but you were still incredibly close to him.

“I told you, I was bored,” he said, moving your wet hair with his fingers and tucking it behind your ear. Your breath caught in your throat at the contact. His eyes have never looked bluer than they have in that moment with the water reflecting in them.

Haydn’s fingers were still tingling, electrified with the skin to skin contact and he was desperate that you felt it too. His eyes flickered down to your lips. He wondered if he’d be able to taste the banana chapstick you’d applied before breakfast this morning.

Without even thinking about it, you‘d shifted closer to him. You contemplated wrapping your legs around his torso, seeing as it was growing more difficult to tread water with how close you were. Your body acted before you’d even made up your mind, but his hands found your thighs faster than your brain could function and your arms were already tucked behind his head.

The two of you were seemingly locked in a daze. No words passed between you but your whole world was screaming excitement. Every nerve ending in your body was shooting off as you held him close, allowing yourself to admire him in a way you’d previously held yourself back from.

Your fingers traced the deck of cards on his left arm. You knew the tattoo meant a lot to him, he’d told you what it meant when he’d forced you to come along with him when he’d gotten it done.

“I think we should head in for lunch,” Haydn said after a minute or two, mentally cursing himself for ruining the moment but he had a bigger problem at hand. Particularly the one below the belt.

He allowed you to climb the ladder to the dock before him, claiming it to be a ladies first ordeal, and watched as you made it halfway to the house before following you out himself. You were already inside making sandwiches when he shuffled inside and into the half-bath downstairs without so much as a word. He knew it was risky but you couldn’t potentially walk in the way you could if he took care of things in his bedroom. He had already contemplated just trekking upstairs to take another cold shower but he’d taken enough of those in the past week to last him a lifetime.

You hadn’t been able to get the moment from the lake out of your mind since it happened. You caught yourself wondering if Haydn had wanted to kiss you the way you’d wanted to kiss him more than a time or two.

June was drawing to a close but you felt like your summer with Haydn was just beginning.

You’d had two too many white claws—plus one of Haydn’s beers—for the evening and you were really starting to feel it when you struggled to sit upright near the fire pit. You’d been trying to finish off the box before your weekly grocery run in the morning but you were starting to regret your decision.

“We’ll get some more firewood in the morning, too,” Haydn said, throwing the last big piece of wood from the pile onto the top of the blazing fire.

You stared at him in your drunken haze when he sat back down next to you. The stories were coming out slower tonight but the silence was not completely unwelcome. It was hard to have an awkward silence between the two of you after all the years you’d spent being friends.

“Why didn’t you kiss me?” you whispered just loud enough for him to hear. His heart skipped a beat at the insinuation.

“What?” he asked. He’d heard you perfectly.

“That day in the lake. Why didn’t you kiss me?” you asked again, though a tad slurred. And in that moment he wished he could travel back in time and kiss you the way he’d dreamed about so many times. Maybe he’d be able to show you how in love with you he’d been since he was ten years old. Maybe you’d actually feel the same.

It was oddly reminiscent of when you were fourteen and you’d been in the same predicament with a boy named John. John had taken you out to the movies—or, at least, his mom had. He’d been the first boy to ever really ask you out and you thought if you prettied yourself up enough you might be able to finagle a first kiss out of it.

Of course, later that night you’d been in the same predicament on the phone with Haydn asking why this stupid freshman boy couldn’t man up and kiss you.

Had it been because of you? Had you misread both situations in your life. Had you seriously misjudged where you stood with both boys to the point that you thought you were getting a kiss only to be left high and dry and wondering why.

Maybe all of this was just the alcohol in your system talking. Or, maybe it was just because both boys had been scared.

“We should go inside,” he said as he repeated his fire ending ritual. It sizzled and sparked before erupting in a cloud of smoke. Then it was silent.

“Haydn,” you mumbled as he helped you up from your chair. You staggered when you fully reached your feet partially from the heartbreak of Haydn not responding to your question and partly from being drunk off your ass.

He helped you up the stairs and into your bedroom without another word. There were too many thoughts running through his brain right now for him to get a coherent sentence out, anyway.

The only problem was that you started stripping down to your underwear the second you stepped into the room.

“Woah, uhm,” Haydn said, wide eyed, before he clamped his hand over his eyes. He figured it shouldn’t matter that much, he saw you in a bikini just about every day, but this just felt so much dirtier.

“I’m decent,” you hummed as you threw yourself face first onto the duvet.

“Well, I’m just gonna-“

“Stay,” you said. “Please.”

“Alright,” he sighed before helping you both under the covers of the California King bed. You were asleep almost instantly and he just smiled fondly as he watched you curl up into his side. Maybe he’d be able to really explain everything in the morning. When you were sober.

The light pouring in from the open curtains caused a string of profanities to ungracefully fall from your lips as you smacked at your bedside table in an attempt to find your phone. You opened your eyes, barely, and squinted when you couldn’t find it in a few slaps only for your eyes to be met with a small glass of water and two gel caps of Advil with a note in Haydn’s scrawl.

I figured this would help the hangover. xx

You popped them in your mouth quickly, downing the water in about two gulps before grabbing the first piece of clothing you saw on your floor and heading into the en-suite to get somewhat presentable. You could hear the stove being used when you made your way down the stairs for breakfast.

“Thanks for the pills,” you said, making yourself somewhat comfortable at one of the island stools as Haydn hunched over the stove. You could smell the bacon but not much else. You eyed the clock over the fridge and noticed you’d slept way past your usual nine am wake up call.

“I went to the store already so we don’t have to worry about that,” Haydn chimed in when he saw you eyeing the new loaf of bread next to the fruit bowl.

“Do you remember what I asked you last night?” you asked, your heart dropping into the pit of your stomach as you vaguely recalled your own question.

“Yeah,” he said. He moved the pan of eggs to the eye that was shut off before turning to face where you were seated at the island.

“Why didn’t you say anything,” you continued.

“You were drunk-“

“Then, why didn’t you kiss me?” you asked again. It was already out there. You couldn’t take anything back you’d said last night so all you could do from here was push forward.

“I should’ve,” he said finally. “I should’ve kissed you.”

You got up from where you were sitting, moving around so that you were practically chest to chest with him again. You were right before. His eyes were definitely bluer in the water.

“Kiss me now,” you whispered. The dull aching your head was replaced with the intense feeling of his lips on yours. His lips were chapped, expectedly so, but they felt incredible against your own. He tasted like crest toothpaste and coffee and the combination was intoxicating.

His hands were on your hips in a second, lifting you to set you on the countertop so you were fully level. They were moving quickly, up your sides and back down again, digging into the flesh of your waist.

“Nice sweatshirt,” he said after pulling back slowly. You looked down to see you’d grabbed his from the night before rather than your own.

“I love you,” you whispered. And it was true. You’d loved him since you were fourteen when he comforted you after your first date with John. You’d loved him every day of the past ten years and you weren’t afraid of it anymore.

“I love you,” he said. “I’ve loved you since I was ten.”

tags @ptersparkers @annedub @corebore123 @damndunner @kiedhara @watermelon05 @sidscrosbyy

[fannishcodex]

So I love @revasnaslan 's Where One Fell Verse, a SPOP AU. :D (Will add a link to the fic series in a comment or reblog below after remembering that tumblr sometimes has issues with embedded links, I think.)

Like, I really love it a lot, it borders on self-conscious "am I being too much, will this for some reason bother the fic writer??" And really, I’ve realized, no way, it won’t, especially since I write fic too and know I would be delighted if my fic got that reaction; but I think this may be more part of my self-consciousness and shyness. In any case, my affection for these fics is on hyperfixation level. I'm in the WOF Verse fandom. It's a thing I've been thinking about in some way since I found it late last year via @cirusthecitrus, it's one of the things that cheers me up these days. I struggle to articulate my pleasure with this fic, but I want to try to do it more.

This fic is a wonderfully character-driven story.

Fic spoilers under the cut, so recommend reading Where One Fell (fic 1) and Everything But A Door (fic 2) before this--and also, just, this fic has my deepest rec and everyone should check it out:

But, another different note first, even more self-conscious on my part: me writing about this fic more feels long overdue, but I really do struggle to sometimes articulate even my positive feelings about a thing because I want to get it across well--but I'm trying to more just spill it out now instead of trying to refine it more; and just also other things have been...a lot, there's been a lot (good and less good) that's pulled my attention in other directions too. So, long overdue, I wish I could've done more earlier, but I still just want to...gush about the fic; but I get self-conscious and worry about, like, "I don't want to end up pestering/pressuring and asking for immediate gratification for a new chapter/I don't want to guilt-trip for an update especially since I feel like I understand because I write fic too and I write slow and it's hard"...but I still want to gush about WOF verse, especially since it's like any other story I enjoy. I like gushing about the stories I enjoy.

So, again, this fic is wonderfully character-driven, which I love.

I'll bring up some canon for obvious reasons, but mostly in terms of contrast. One of the ways WOF Verse felt refreshing and drew me in was that after SPOP canon--well, in some ways SPOP canon feels like a wasted ensemble show; like many other things SPOP doesn't pull off, it doesn't pull off an ensemble show (especially when it ends up sidelining a bunch of characters that should've been prioritized more instead of a very mishandled character), and it kinda feels like it ends up having too many characters/like it starts feeling like too many characters if some are sort of just there and not really used (and I have my thoughts on who should've been prioritized, but that's another post; though granted I think my interest in this fic really indicates some of the characters I would've prioritized more).

So, I enjoyed how WOF Verse focuses on a smaller cast, giving them more attention and exploring them more. The general summary of the fic immediately drew me in, because I'm a sucker for family themes and dysfunctional families and familial love getting messy and complicated in fiction, and I hadn't realized I needed clone Hordak and his genetic template/progenitor Horde Prime shifted to them being literally brothers, plus the added twist of having Horde Prime actually care for his brother, but Prime's become thoroughly twisted in how he shows that affection and protectiveness--didn't know I needed that until I found this fic. And oh do I enjoy how this fic opened up the original '80s She-Ra/MOTU up to me more, because I just thought "wow, Hec-Tor Kur is a good made-up alt name/'real-ish' name with a last name for Hordak in this AU, and Anillis Kur just sounds cool and it just feels like it fits as an alt name/real name for Horde Prime when he's not always using that title," and I thought making them literally blood brothers was just a neat twist on them being clone and genetic template/progenitor. But nope, apparently Hec-Tor Kur and Anillis Kur are their real alt names from the original '80s canon which also heavily implies they're brothers, and that's really cool. (And I think it would've been really interesting if spop/the latest reboot had actually just explored that more, explored them more as brothers and siblings.)

Again, WOF is very character-driven, and I love that. And I enjoy how this feels like it also fits the story and world of the fic, which involves Anillis Kur/Horde Prime going into Extremely Overprotective Brother Mode and confining his sickly younger brother Hec-Tor (Hordak) to the Velvet Glove because he's that paranoid about anything happening to his brother due to a lot of family trauma that happened before Hec-Tor was even born/when he was just a baby (and baby Hec-Tor himself almost succumbing to illness and dying did not help with Anillis's issues), not to mention that controlling; so much of the fic so far is in a closed world, it adds to the hyper focus on the characters in that closed world. I appreciate how at times the fic really does have this claustrophobic feeling. I like how it sometimes makes me think of like a one-setting/limited setting play on a multi-chapter scale.

And of course, I like the specific characters getting this sort of hyper focus, and WOF makes me enjoy them even more. I love Hordak, his character, his voice, his design, etc. Horde Prime also has such a cool design and again that same cool voice, I adore Keston John's voice acting and his range in it. Canon S5 doesn't give him enough internal depth or character though, and ultimately makes him too much of just an obstacle and symbol/too much of a plot device in the show and a wasted opportunity for a more interesting character. That becomes even more apparent in contrast to WOF Verse, because Anillis Kur/Horde Prime is so much more interesting!!! Like Anillis/WOF!Prime is so much more interesting, it makes me realize how canon Prime is lacking in character/interest.

Ohman, this Prime. Prime has a great design and a great voice, and WOF has an interesting personality to match those elements in quality. There's so much fascinating contrast with him in WOF, and it makes him feel like a more unsettling villain. We've seen him care, and so it feels more frightening when he turns more aggressive and ruthless and cold. WOF's opening scene really effectively sets that contrast with him; it starts with him exhausted but having a really sweet moment with a very young Hec-Tor, and then not long after that when Hec-Tor's asleep in his arms it's a very unsettling mood whiplash with how Anillis coldly treats the clone attendant; it's even very effectively distilled and crystalized even further with the image of Anillis holding a sleeping Hec-Tor in his arms while glaring daggers at the clone attendant, that contrast of love and threat. Like, definitely a character that can do Both and I love that. And contrast adds layers to Anillis, it renders him in even more emotional dimensions, he can be multiple things at once.

And I rather love that he's far less...touchy, with everyone; it more finally struck me that he's rarely negatively touched anyone until a pivotal scene, and it being a rarity made the scene pack more of a punch, and then I looked back and realized he just doesn't do that often, there's another earlier scene that also feels shocking because it's another rare use of explicit touch, his touch is more targeted--he doesn't need to constantly do it to feel threatening at all, and is in fact much more threatening and unsettling without it. (I literally had to pause some instances because I was nervous about what Anillis would do next.) It's so fascinating to watch Anillis steadily grow worse and to watch Hec-Tor gradually have the dawning realization of what Anillis is really doing and the truth of his situation. It's interesting to see Hec-Tor gradually realizing that what he's lived with his whole life and what has felt normal isn't a good thing, it's not acceptable.

And I really do like that familial love is such a motivating factor for Anillis, and that it's something that feeds into a lot of his ruthlessness and villainy; and it feels like something I still don't see enough in fiction. And it just feels more believable, more consistent. Anillis acts horribly, is abusive, but it still feels like what he does is out of love for his brother and he really is blind to what he's actually doing to his brother, that it's the opposite of what he wants, it's not protecting him like he believes. I like that level of character believability/consistency, and part of that also involves how it's overall framed, and it's still framed as pretty terrifying; Anillis cares about his brother, but his methods are twisted.

And my gut feeling does...well, feel connections between canon and this AU--and that may be obvious as source material and fic based on it, but I mean--it's as if canon were the very rough first sketch/draft, and WOF is the fully realized version of the character, plus the change of shifting his brotherly status into a brother that actually does care but goes about it in a horribly twisted way. WOF takes parts and pieces and little details from canon and fleshes them out into something more fully dimensional and more interesting. Like the trace of canon Prime's collection with plants/other things and even arguably the imagery at the end with his ship the Velvet Glove becoming a tree feel connected to a more fleshed out version in WOF where Anillis keeps a garden. And there's so much meaning that can be pulled from his garden--it's another reflection of his controlling behavior with the way he controls/manages the garden; on the flip side, it feels like it further reflects the contrast/dichotomy in his character, as gardens can still have positive connotations too--it can reflect the potential Anillis had (may still have?) for genuine good/for genuinely nurturing care. And it also does more explicitly point to Anillis's affection for family since his late father had kept a garden too and Anillis's own garden on the Velvet Glove still has his father's plants. There's so much done with Anillis's garden.

And with his backstory and the contrast in his character, just his...everything, I also want to know more about Anillis, I'm curious for even more of his backstory, even going more into "why are you like this?" Like this is a genuinely fascinating, charismatic, threatening, multi-faceted antagonist right here.  

And I can go on about Anillis, but I love Hec-Tor/Hordak in this too. I love Hordak, and I enjoy how this still feels so much like Hordak, but with a different life; I feel like there are commonalities that remain from canon within him combined with differences based on the AU he's in and the different experiences he's lived with. Like, there's such an interesting detail with Hec-Tor's growing anger issues that remind me of Hordak--it's there, but different because of their different lives, Hec-Tor's developing because of his isolation but still quieter, simmering, because his brother only has his best interests at heart, he shouldn't act like this... And then it’s so nice to see Hec-Tor be even more talkative about SCIENCE because he does have more space to be a bit more open about his passions in this AU/different life situation. And it's all like another AU I didn't realize I wanted until I saw it--I really dig seeing Hordak/Hec-Tor as a baby, as a little kid, getting to have a childhood and get to have more typical developmental stages and to have more familial experiences, albeit twisted ones. And I love how the story has shifted to Hec-Tor more, love his POV and following him on his journey.

And the clones! The clones are great in WOF and give me feels too. I love how more of them are focused on as individuals, and that we get to see more of their characters and glimpse their differing views. And when Etherian characters join in, they're as well written and interesting too (the Entrapdak is so good). I just like WOF's cast, and the line-up plucked from canon and how they adjust to the AU; this ensemble just feels better, and it's utilized and treated better than canon.

And the worldbuilding with Anillis & Hec-Tor’s race and the clones and their world is so good and seamlessly interwoven with story and character, enhancing the whole thing even more and making things even more interesting.

I just...really love these characters and this story. They have a lot of heart and intrigue.

(Disclaimer: I definitely ended up having trouble figuring out tags for this. Especially since I think only the first five tags actually show up at first? And I think last I checked tumblr freaks out over dashes within a tag so while “hec-tor kur” probably fits better, I don’t think tumblr can handle that for some reason so just going with “hordak,” which also really still just fits.)

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

"Remember when you told me that Demetri was always going to be your only friend?"

Her tone was sharp and Eli felt obliged to avoid her gaze, staring at his hands instead.

"I do."

"Yeah well, Demetri's mother called me to tell that someone broke his arm and she doesn't know who did it."

His silence was almost as loud as a scream.

"I know who did it. I didn't know the reason though, but then I saw those Cobra Kai kids with you outside and I put it together. You have a bunch of new friends now, don't you?"

Eli glanced at his mother and regretted it instantly, she almost looked as if she was talking to a stranger. Like she didn't knew him.

"Well, Demetri isn't your only friend now, is he?"

No.

"Was it worth it?"

No.

God, no.

Hey wow look never in my life have 142 words CRUSHED MY SOUL FASTER

This drabble punched me in the gut, grabbed my wallet, looked through it, snatched all my $20s, and then ran away mercilessly.

Legit though, it never sat quite right with me when Eli was venting to his mom in that one flashback and he just wails out “I’M NEVER GONNA HAVE ANY FRIENDS BESIDES DEMETRI!” like it’s some like...goddamn death sentence or something. Like yeah, Demetri is far from the perfect best/only friend, and he can certainly be an insensitive ass at times, but like...yo, the boy is LOYAL AF, he’s stuck with your ass and been your best friend through YEARS of bullying and tried to protect you from getting hurt, in his own little way (even if some of his efforts are kinda misguided, as they basically boil down to “just avoid engaging bullies if at all possible” and “don’t try any new activity (i.e. karate) that could cause even slight pain or discomfort and rock the boat” lol) and tried to make you laugh with dumb jokes about you being the homecoming king when NO ONE ELSE would bother, and you clearly just DON’T appreciate him??? Like the way Eli’s like “I’m never gonna have friends...besides Demetri, obviously” just reads like he’s absolutely just taking Demetri for granted and it PISSES ME OFF. Then again, I think it might just strike a nerve with me in particular, since I remember all too well being a ragingly insecure, introverted child watching my friends make other friends besides me and just being so confused and hurt, like “...am I not good enough for you?” Of course, now that I’m older I see that it’s valid to want more friends while keeping the ones you have, obviously, and I don’t think Eli was inherently wrong for wanting to expand his social circle or anything, but the way he’s just...so dismissive of Demetri’s friendship and instead focuses on crying about all the cool friends he doesn’t have just PEEVES me to no end. Like ffs, some of the kids at that school who get bullied probably have NO friends and have to tough it out alone, so maybe be like...a little more appreciative of the fact that you have a BEST FRIEND who clearly cares about you??? Again, it’s valid for Eli to want more friends--I imagine you’d get tired of only having one person your age to really talk to--but the fact that he kinda phrases this in a way that makes it sound like Demetri and their friendship is dismissable and trivial and not all that important to him has always bugged me a lot. I mean, Eli obviously DOES care about Demetri and Demetri’s opinions of him, as we see several times in the show, but like...hearing him say “I’m never gonna have any other friends besides Demetri” still makes me wince every time. STOP TALKIN BOUT MY BOY LIKE HE DOESN’T MATTER 

Yeah yeah yeah I KNOW I’m reading way too much into a simple comment okay but this statement has implications and I DO NOT like them

“Someone broke his arm and she doesn't know who did it." Oh yeah, Demetri absolutely did not tell his mom Eli broke his arm. Given how smothering and overprotective she seems (I mean, she gave him a note to take to a KARATE CLASS excusing him from EXTENSIVE ARM AND LEG MOVEMENT even though that’s ALL KARATE IS), she’d probably NEVER let Eli near him again if she knew--hell, she might even get a restraining order or make Demetri transfer schools or something. And Demetri definitely doesn’t think that’s her decision to make--and he ain’t about to give up on Good Old Eli just yet, even after everything that’s happened. Perhaps against his better judgement, he still has hope for his old friend. He just tells his mom his arm got broken by one of the newer Cobra Kai recruits, some burly thug guy he’d never seen before. He didn’t get a good look at the guy, naturally, since he was pinning his face to the ground and fled the scene almost immediately after the arm-snapping.

And oh my god how I WISH we’d gotten a scene in Season 3 where Eli’s mom just brutally calls him out like this, because god knows he needed it and it could’ve been THE wake-up call (or at least one of a few big wake-up calls) that shit...he’s getting farther away from the person he’s always been than he ever has before, and maybe...maybe it’s not a good thing after all. Maybe it’s not a good thing if his own mother barely recognizes him, if his own mother is maybe even a little scared/wary of him and what he’s become. I mean I get there was a lot going on in Season 3, and there probably wouldn’t have really been room to bring back a character as minor as Eli’s mom, but I would have loved to see her reaction to all the shit he was pulling throughout the season. She highkey seems like a helicopter parent if she’s willing to call the school over Eli being bullied, so there’s no way she was just suddenly completely disinterested in everything he was doing after school and that she didn’t at least suspect there was some sketchy shit going on. (I mean...the boy presumably came home with a MOTORCYCLE one day??? Isn’t she gonna wonder where on earth he got that??? Y’all don’t expect me to believe SHE got it for him, do you???)

Also, Demetri and Eli’s moms are absolutely friends!!! Speaking as someone who had the same group of childhood friends for like 12 years, your moms can’t NOT be friends when they’re forced to see each other that often XD It’s kinda depressing to think how much it must have hurt their moms too when they started fighting, since these women would presumably have been good friends for years at that point and now have to watch their sons, who used to be best friends, just constantly be at each other’s throats :( I love how quickly Eli’s mom puts two and two together and figures out Eli broke Demetri’s arm. Eli can’t hide SHIT from his mama haha

Also wow it’s so fucked and depressing to think that maybe, in the heat of the moment, Eli broke Demetri’s arm to LITERALLY shatter the notion of Demetri being his only friend and try to DESTROY that time completely with that arm break so he could fully embrace his new, “improved” identity as the “cool badass” with lots of awesome and formidable friends who were obviously far superior and much better for his image and his intimidation factor than nerdy little Demetri...ouch.

"Was it worth it?"

No.

God, no.

JESUS I’M SOBBING

AS SOON AS ELI HEARD THAT BONE SNAP AND SAW DEMETRI CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR CRYING HE REGRETTED ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING I AM HERE TO TELL YOU

IT WAS A BAD DAY FOR EVERYONE AND I AM GOING TO MURDER JOHN KREESE WITH MY BARE HANDS FOR SLOWLY MINDFUCKING MY BOY ELI MOSKOWITZ INTO THINKING BREAKING HIS CRUSH’S ARM WAS THE MOVE

[collecting-stories]

Jungle Juice - John B Routledge

Request: Hello! Can I request N4 of the prompt kiss list with John B?

A/N: This took all day despite me knowing exactly what I wanted to type. The procrastination was strong. 

Outer Banks Masterlist

///

The summer sun was no joke and the lack of air conditioning that the Chateau offered meant that John B’s house felt more and more like an Easy Bake oven as the morning wore on. You’d woken up on a couch on the porch, cheek practically glued to the cushion because even half-outside in the middle of the night it roasted. The sun was beating through the cheap screened-in walls when you fully woke up, detaching yourself from the couch and pulling on your top. You’d opted not to sleep fully dressed in the heat but somehow your shirt still smelled a little sour. It could’ve been the beer JJ had spilled on you or the sweat from dancing near the bonfire that John B built last night. Either way, a top was a top and you didn’t feel like walking around in your bikini this early in the morning. However early that was.

Inside, John B was at the kitchen counter, pouring himself a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch. When the front door opened and swung closed behind you, he looked up from his breakfast. “I thought you bailed last night?”

“Apparently not.” You shrugged. “What's for breakfast?”  

“Ah well,” John B grinned, adopting a truly awful fake accent that you couldn’t quite pin down, “here at Chateau Routledge your wish is our command.”

“I want scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, hash browns-”

He grabbed the box of cinnamon toast crunch and shook it at you, cutting off your breakfast order.

“Or cereal. I love cereal.” You reached across the counter and took the box from him. “Do I get milk and a bowl too or should I just toss it into my mouth?”  

John B passed the carton of milk toward you and handed over an extra bowl. “JJ left this morning to run groceries with Pope, it’s just us.” It wasn’t unusual for any of you to hang out in pairs but you usually went home after parties so he was surprised to see you walk through the front door in bikini bottoms and a t-shirt. So far you were acting like everything was completely normal and he was reluctant to act any differently but he was having trouble pretending that nothing happened last night.

It wasn’t that something extraordinary had happened but it wasn’t nothing either. In fact, it was all as cliché as it sounded. In the midst of the party you and John B had kissed. He knew when it happened that you were already pretty drunk. High as a kite from JJ’s blunt and working on your third, filled to the brim, cup of someone’s jungle juice, you had stumbled over to John B. He was sitting on a chair around the bonfire when you fell into his lap, throwing an arm around his shoulders.  

When you leaned in to kiss him on the cheek he turned his head and it was all in the timing. An accidental kiss that could’ve easily been played off as nothing, as the accident that it was. He had pulled away not two seconds after your lips brushed against his, the smell of weed and a mixture of alcohol wasn’t enough to deter him as he grabbed the back of your neck and guided you into another kiss. Your grip on his shoulder tightened and his other hand held your bare thigh, keeping you close to him as the two of you made out on a plastic lawn chair.  

It wasn’t JJ that had spilled beer on your shirt. You had dropped your drink when John B bit your lower lip and that was the end of the kiss. You’d practically rolled out of his lap trying to get away from the alcohol soaking through your shirt.  

“So...good party last night.” John B commented, following you to the kitchen table.  

You sat down, one leg beneath you, and looked across the table at John B, “yeah...I guess?”  

John B nodded his head a few times, lips pressed in a thin line and looking down into his bowl of cereal. Should he tell you? Act like it was no big deal, just alcohol and weed influencing a moment between friends? Should he say that he had been thinking about kissing you for years but hadn’t because of the rule? That this had given him the perfect excuse and now that he had kissed you he didn’t want to go back to just being friends again.

“You’re thinking really hard over there John B.” You piped up, watching his glazed expression as he stared into the bowl of cereal.  

“Sorry, must be the hangover.”

“Do you have a shirt I could borrow...this one still smells weird.” You had thought that it would be fine but you could still smell the sourness of the shirt. Lifting it over your head you were once again in just your bikini, though rid of the smell once you dropped it on the ground. John B got up, disappearing into his bedroom before coming out with one of JJ’s pelican marina shirts and passing it off to you. “Thank you.”

“That jungle juice was ripe.” He said, grabbing your shirt off the ground and throwing it in the basket of dirty laundry that would eventually make it to your house to be cleaned.

“Is that what it was?”

“You really don’t remember?” John B asked, sitting at the kitchen table once again, though this time he sat next to you, turning in his chair so that he could face you.

“I remember rolling a joint with JJ and dancing with Kiara and waking up on your couch.” You replied, “why? I didn’t sing a Whitney song again did I?”

“Not exactly.”

“What happened? You’re making me sound like I was auditioning for an episode of Girls Gone Wild.” You said, turning away from your cereal to face him.  

“We kissed.” He replied. Better to tear the band aid off. “It was an accident at first and then...we just kept kissing.”  

“Oh. Then what happened?” You asked. You couldn’t believe you had actually kissed him. Well, you could. It wasn’t like you didn’t think about kissing John B on a regular basis it was just that you never had any intention of actually going through with it.  

“You spilled your drink all over your shirt.”  

“Guess that explains the smell.” You said, “so we kissed?”

“We kissed.”

“Was it good?”

John B snorted, running a hand through his hair, “you were really drunk.”

“Well I’m not drunk now.”

“Seriously?” He asked, eyes wide.  

You leaned in toward him, scooting to the end of the chair. “Drunk actions are sober thoughts?”  

“I don’t want you to think you have to...because we kissed last night.”

“John B?”  

“Yeah?” He asked, leaning forward, face close to yours.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

-

requests: @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife  @freckled-and-daydreaming  @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @howdyherron @katherine097 @tangledinsparkles @tragicmisfits @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27 @ssprayberrythings @dopedoodes @pogue-h @dolanfivsosxox

[smallblueandloud]

some leverage: redemption reactions

i finished leverage redemption today! and i don't have anyone to talk to about it so, here we have my reactions for all eight episodes, both positive and negative. please feel free to reblog/comment -- discussions are what i'm here for! (under a cut because spoilers and also this ended up being 2k. whoops!)

EPISODE 1: the too many rembrandts job

the "aww, this guy is trying to pull his first heist! how cute" job

what they chose to do with nate was... interesting. it might just be that i read too many of those cracky "here's how they should explain nate's absence" posts, but i was expecting something funny. the grief permeating this episode -- it makes SENSE, but it was still weird. leverage doesn't usually have sadness like this. pain, yes, rage, certainly, but sadness? not usually

the way sophie immediately spots the signs of a con and slips into a character? phenomenal. i'm here for EXPERTS BEING EXPERTS and this show does NOT disappoint

harry wilson is a really solid character! most impressively, he's not flynn, which is impressive enough that i'm making a whole bullet point about it. i was worried that noah wyle was kinda a one-trick pony, but it appears not! good for him tbh

i'm LIVING for the ot3 moments in this episode. "what happened?" "we happened" YESSSSS!!! i wish we'd had more domesticity, but i know they did what they could

"he gets it from his father" FUCK!!!!!

the discussion about redemption in this episode is FANTASTIC but personally i am still delirious with excitement about "my nana leads a multi-denominational household" so expect those thoughts in 3-5 business days

EPISODE 2: the panamanian monkey job

the "flash electropop concert" job

BREANNA INTRODUCTION! i love her so MUCH, y'all. we only got to see her dynamic with hardison in this one episode, but man, it manages to be one of her best dynamics anyway. i just! i love her! i love the way the team works with her!

"in our field, you're one of the best. but there, you're the only one." god we have ELIOT/HARDISON rights and i am NOT OKAY. just!! them!!!!!! being supportive!!!!!! they have learned how to be sweet with each other! they work together so much better (in part because we're seeing them from harry's outsider pov instead of nate's insider pov, but STILL)

midway through this episode, i thought "huh, leverage always focuses on specific people, when really the problem is systematic, and pretending it's anything different is just an excuse to not fight for change". and then at the end harry talks about how the system itself is broken! i love knowing that john rogers and i were reading the same tweets last summer. it's a good feeling to trust the people making a piece of media

who let noah wyle speak spanish. whoever it was, they need to rescind their permission

god, the parker/hardison in this episode. THE PARKER/HARDISON IN THIS EPISODE! they KILL me friends they KILL ME!

also just like, hardison in this episode in general. he made a star trek reference! he made a doctor who reference! he decides there are other people who need him more! the way they wrote around gina bellman's maternity leave in s2 was good but this was phenomenal.

also i'm here for ot3 crumbs so "is this like the time when eliot wanted us to say no" is going on my ot3-is-canon conspiracy board

this is a tiny detail but eliot taking out the drone with a goddamn ORANGE was so good. he's so good at his job!! they're all so good at their jobs!! i know i literally just talked about this but AAA

EPISODE 3: the rollin' on the river job

the "sometimes you just want to rob a vault wearing a floofy dress, and that's valid" job

i did... not. like. how the villain in this one was an immigrant whose exploitable weakness was a "desperation" to be included in the upper crust. and the fact that they beat him with a literal southern belle who explicitly beats him BECAUSE her family has been in the area for "hundreds of years"? it just feels Iffy.

also iffy about this episode was breanna's characterization. it felt inconsistent. she feels inconsistent across the whole season, but this episode in particular... she tells harry she's only with the team because she's desperate, that she doesn't believe in hope, and then at the end of the episode she tells parker she wants to be there to change the world. and like, even in the first place, she's not here out of desperation! SHE asked to join the team! like, i can see how it all kinda fits together, but it just feels... inconsistent. idk. i think these scripts all could've benefited from an extra round or two of editing.

anyway! i loved the way they tied hardison into these episodes, even though aldis hodge couldn't be there. he has binders! breanna doesn't want to read them! parker did! he put in big letters, "when in doubt, trust the person in the van". i'm just so !!! about how much i love him and how much he loves his team and how much his team loves him. FOUND FAMILY, BABY!

all inconsistencies in breanna's characterization aside, i really liked her speech at the end. i know how she feels! it's really nice to have someone on the team who's from -- not my world, really, but a lot closer than any of the others. it's a nice feeling! i love her a lot. i hope her writing gets more consistent

lol, parker ate eliot's carrot cake. i love the parker/eliot rights we get in this show, they're so domestic and it's wonderful.

EPISODE 4: the tower job

the "hardison made his partners learn klingon" job

watching this episode was what made me go "they're not going to make us sit through a harry/sophie romance... right? right?"

i'm still not sure they're gonna let us avoid it but it COULD work so... i've decided to just not worry about it for now

i liked the number of ways the con goes wrong! it was fun to watch them work on the fly like that. i think them not having a dedicated Mastermind(tm) is a good watsonian explanation for their plans being pretty haphazard in general, but it's good, they think well on their feet

nate was a chessmaster. he had the whole situation in his mind from the beginning, accounting for every possible outcome. parker and sophie are much more adaptive, and it's cool to see. they can rely on their respective skillsets a lot more than nate could

a really solid episode! probably one of the strongest ones in the season. i liked it a lot.

(ALSO as mentioned above the klingon lines were fantastic and not just because they were a star trek reference -- every time eliot and parker both mentioned hardison, together, it added a year to my lifespan)

EPISODE 5: the paranormal hacktivity job

the "sophie was worryingly prepared to fake her death" job

i know why they characterized the client as a skeptic, i really do, and i loved the format of this episode, but also. But Also. she should've been a love interest for breanna and I'm Right.

having a girl's episode was the CORRECT choice. they do crimes in their free time! they fleece newbie, cruel criminals! it's so good!

it would've been cool to have eliot around for the assassin guy, but it was also cool to see the others take him out without having eliot to rely on. it's like getting to see how they'd take out eliot, if they were ever on opposing sides.

PARKER CANONICALLY USES SCRIPTS IT'S THE BEST THING EVER

breanna bristling about letting the criminal into the theater's electric system was so good god i love her so much. she knows hardware! i bet she likes to work with her hands. i bet she stims. i bet she has adhd

actually, sidenote, but i LOVE these headquarters. they look so nice! the stage is so nice! i loved having an episode set in and around it, it was such a good choice.

EPISODE 6: the card game job

the "FINALLY AN EXPLICITLY QUEER LEVERAGE CHARACTER" job

QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BR

UNFOLLOW ME NOW THIS IS GONNA BE THE ONLY THING I POST ABOUT FOR THE REST OF TIME

GOD, what a good way to reveal it. it's fully about her! i love queer romances, of course i do, but i don't think i've ever seen a character come out without a romance being their reason for doing so (however indirectly). i still think she should've gotten a date with the client from 1x05, but i really liked this too.

this episode just felt like a love letter to fandom, and i love that. i love how much it shone through. i'm used to writers specifically going out of their way to make fun of fans and laugh at them, so it was just. really nice to have someone stand up and go, no, this is important for a reason! people love this for a reason! it MEANS something!

very fun to watch eliot swordfight. very fun to watch sophie recite a sonnet in her classic fashion. very fun to watch parker work at being a good mentor. breanna was so excited about the card game! they're all so good!

oh, and i guess harry's here too.

EPISODE 7: the double-edged sword job

the "harry is addicted to mobile games, which is a mood" job

hot take alert! i think this is the weakest episode of the season by a LOT. it needed so much more editing. it felt so disjointed, so all over the place. the plot was haphazard but in a muffled way, where you had no idea why they were doing what they were doing. the climax was sudden and didn't make any sense. it was just weird.

i'm not the person to comment on this but it feels kind of lazy to cast an east asian guy to play a socially-awkward tech genius. just a thought.

oh, of course jonathan frakes directed this episode. sometimes his stuff is really good but other times (ahem, ds9 3x02) it's disjointed and all over the place. i'm not even surprised it was him.

idk if i have anything else to say about this. oh! some of the team moments were great -- mostly involving eliot. i loved the moment of him recognizing the headshot, i LOVED the ten seconds of everyone teasing him. he and parker talked about the wellbeing of their friend, the woman whose ex tracked her down!

separate bulletpoint to say how much i LOVED his conversation with breanna outside the house. he's so good at reassuring! he could go deeper there, talking about being better than your worst day, but he knew when not to push! it was so good.

"first off, this guy can't TOUCH hardison" deserves its own bulletpoint because like. y'all. Y'ALL.

EPISODE 8: the mastermind job

the "eliot is more than just a pretty face" job

oh man this post is so much longer than i thought it would be. okay just one more episode and then i'm done.

the callbacks to original leverage were SO well done and made me feel emotions without feeling overbearing.

i didn't like the central premise -- that nate would share so many details with a random insurance agent -- in the first place, but i did like how it allowed them to bring back nate without actually hiring timerty mcasshole.

i liked eliot's insistence that he's more than just the muscle! he is, and it's really good to know, textually, that the writers do too!

me, watching the resolution of the episode: ah, yeah, insurance fraud. a classic!

harry bonding with his guard had "they don't even have dental!" energy and i am SUCH a fan. i know it was all for the con but also give me harry, unable to stop advising people, even when they're actively holding him hostage

parker! on the phone with hardison!!!! ADORABLE

is it just me or was someone else expecting the accountant's name to be something significant? with the way they led up to it, i was waiting for a "sterling" or something else. my sensors were pinging for another tara reveal. i'm still convinced we're gonna get this guy dramatically revealed in the season finale.

a really nice episode! i had a lot of fun with it. and now i want to rewatch the rashamon job, but tbh i ALWAYS want to rewatch the rashamon job.

and that's a wrap! overall, a fun season, i enjoyed it a lot. not as solid as original leverage, but it's the very beginning, and it was put together during a global pandemic, so i'm cutting them some slack. also levar burton is gonna show up at some point. that's a big reason of why i'm cutting them so much slack.

my personal ranking of the episodes is 1x04, 1x06, 1x08, 1x01, 1x02, 1x03, and finally last (and least), 1x07.

what did you guys think of the new season? what was your favorite episode? do you agree with any of my opinions? disagree with any? let me know, please, i'd love to discuss!

[romanticrising]

Thinking of You//JJ Maybank x Reader

Inspired by Katy Perry’s song Thinking of You (highly recommend you listen to that while reading this)

Summary: I’m bad at these but basically the reader was dating JJ before her parents went full Kook and she tries to move on and starts dating this new guy but JJ comes back into her life and smut ensues

Warnings: smut, swearing, mentions of alcohol and drug use, probably some angst in there, cheating, probably something else I’m forgetting

Michael is not a real character, he’s just some guy I made up for the sake of this

This takes place before, during (kinda), and after Season 1 but the plot of the show isn’t super relevant to the plot of this

This is also my first time writing like a whole smut thing so idk if its good or not

Part two is here

I once thought breaking a bone would be the worst feeling ever. I was wrong. The worst feeling was losing JJ.

I got swept up into Kook life like grains of sand in a swell. My life went from surfing and stealing kisses to cocktail parties and Rafe Cameron. Almost immediately after JJ and I called it quits, I got pulled straight into the whirlwind that was Ward’s eldest. He was sweet when he wanted to be, and reckless. He didn’t have the recklessness I loved about JJ, but a more dangerous kind that was intoxicating all the same. Of course, it didn’t help that he was developing a cocaine addiction, but I was drawn to him. Our relationship was flawed; there was no doubt about it. But I let myself believe I had feelings for him. It was either that or let the hole JJ had left consume me. 

The first time seeing him after our breakup was at the infamous kegger down at the Boneyard. We locked eyes across the beach after he downed a beer to impress some girl. Just looking into his light blue eyes was enough to stir up memories of our time together.

“Morning, beautiful,” he murmured, his voice drowsy from sleep. I barely stirred from where I was lying with my head on his bare chest, just offered a hum in response. This was my favorite place to be, wrapped up in him, me in nothing but my underwear and his T-shirt, him in nothing but his boxers. My legs were sore from the previous night and I knew I had a ton of hickeys I would have to cover up later.

“What if we took the Pogue out into the marsh today and spent the day there, just you and me?” He was trying to wake me up now, tracing patterns on my lower back under his shirt.

I grumbled in protest but pulled myself off of him. I blinked a couple times to get used to the sunlight that was quickly filling my room. JJ always looked good, but seeing him sprawled across my sheets, cheeky grin playing at the corners of his mouth made me think, Holy fuck, I love this boy.

“Okay,” I said, swinging one leg over his lap and straddling him. I brushed my hair to one side and leaned down to catch his lips with mine, loving the way he ran his hands up my bare thighs. “Or, we could just stay here…” I pressed kisses along his shoulders and up his neck, slowly rolling my hips down onto his. He growled low in his throat and rolled me over, pinning me to my bed.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, baby,” he said between kisses. 

I curled my fingers through his blonde hair. “Prove it.”

The next time I saw him was at Midsummers, and the sight of him in any kind of uniform was enough to make me choke on my champagne. He always did look hot in a collared shirt. I watched him run into the coat room, and I watched the security guard carry him out moments later. I watched him disturb the stuffy atmosphere of the party and run off with Kiara and Pope. I wished so much that I could’ve gone with him, but he made it very clear he didn’t want anything to do with me when I went “full Kook,” and besides, my place was here now. With Rafe. 

But Rafe broke up with me after he realized I was still in love with JJ. Of course, he didn’t know it was JJ; no one did. We kept our relationship secret, which was another reason why I couldn’t vent about losing him to my new Kook friends. I couldn’t even vent about him to Kie, not that she would want to talk to me. It wasn’t my fault my parents had chosen to abandon the Cut after they went full Kook and dragged me along with them. 

So I found an outlet in the only place that had ever calmed me down before: the ocean. I went night surfing whenever I could, and slept on the beach when I was too tired to make my way home. Sometimes I would run into couples sneaking around at night or drunk teenagers around a bonfire, but they never bothered me. I stayed out of their way, they stayed out of mine. 

One night as I walked up the beach with my surfboard, I noticed a dark shape watching me. It creeped me out until I realized that it was just some guy probably trying to sober up. Except, then he called my name.

We sat side by side in silence for a while, listening to the water. It was easier when I couldn’t see him. Easier when I didn’t have a constant reminder of what I was missing. When it became too much, we spoke at the same time. That was us alright: so in sync we spoke simultaneously.

“Look, I’m sorry I���”

“JJ, I—” We laughed for a moment, and then we realized we weren’t what we used to be. 

“You go first,” he said.

“I, uh, thanks.” I paused. What I was about to say was going to break my heart, but I had to let him go. If he wanted me back, he would’ve said something by now. “I just wanted to say I think you were right to call it off.”

Silence. Then, “Yeah.”

I turned to him. “What were you going to say?”

“It doesn’t matter. Have a nice night.” He stood up, brushing the sand off his shorts. I wanted to call out to him as he made his way up the beach, but I didn’t. Better to let it lie. We were over, for good. 

A couple months went by, disrupted only by the scandal of John B and Sarah getting lost in the hurricane after he supposedly shot Sheriff Peterkin. I head rumors that it was Rafe who’d killed her, but I tried to stay out of it. I was busy making a fresh start with a new guy, a Kook named Michael. He was clean cut: a golfer who took me out to dinner on the weekends and touched me like I was a fragile sculpture, nothing like the way JJ used to make me feel. He was safe, good for me. My parents liked him. He never drank too much or smoked. He opened the door for me, and called me every night. We slept together, maybe once or twice, but every time afterwards I couldn’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like if it had been JJ instead. I knew it was wrong, but when I kissed him I pretended I was kissing JJ. It seemed that the more I tried to get him out of my head, the more I fell in love with him. 

A couple weeks into dating Michael, I went night surfing again, just for the hell of it. At one point I got tired of surfing and left my board on the beach so I could just swim. I pretended the salt water was washing away my feelings for JJ and the heartbreak that was still all-consuming. That was the kind of relationship we had: all-consuming, intoxicating. Every moment I was with him felt like its own little vacuum of space that was just us. He introduced me to his friends, not as a girlfriend, but as a friend. We didn’t tell anyone about us, because we didn’t want to give up our secret rendezvous. I bet the rest of the Pogues suspected, but they never said anything. 

We fought like a married couple, and made love like every time was our last time. I helped him take care of the injuries he got from his father. We spent almost every night together, laughing, drinking, getting high off his weed and each other. He felt it too, the magnetic pull that never kept us apart for long. Maybe we were soulmates, if you believed in that kind of thing.

The first time we said “I love you” was also our last time, although we didn’t know it. We were sitting on the roof of a new Kook house that was under construction, looking at the sky. I was wearing his shirt, the one he gave me so I could be with him even when he wasn’t there, and we were talking about what it would be like if we found the gold. We didn’t have fully formed plans, really. We were just speculating on what seemed like an impossibility, but one just within our grasp. And then he said it. He looked at me, kissed me softly, and whispered, “I love you.”

I repeated it back to him, and we spent the rest of that night whispering it back and forth, so excited by the prospect that we had found someone who loved us as much as we loved them.

The next morning, I found all my stuff packed up in boxes and a moving truck my parents told me was bound for our new home in Figure 8. They had wanted to surprise me with our new Kook-dom, assuming I would be happy to be moving out of the Cut. But leaving the Cut meant leaving JJ and the other Pogues, and the life I’d grown up in.

After we moved, they spent the next few days talking shit about all the people we’d grown up with, making it known to the south-siders that we were Kooks now, and making it known to the Kooks that we were one of them. All the other Pogues seemed to want to drop me after that, but JJ and I met up every night, until one night my mom caught us. It wasn’t me she was mad at; it was JJ. She called him things I’d never heard my mother say before, telling him he was trash and I deserved someone who could give me everything I wanted in life. It must’ve really struck a chord with him, because when I went to apologize on her behalf the next morning, he was lying next to some tourist he’d picked up for a one night stand. 

That was when we broke up. He said my mom was right, that I deserved better. I told him I didn’t care, because he was the one I wanted. In the end, it didn’t matter what either of us said; whatever we had was done.

The memories still hurt me, but as each wave crashed over me, I let each one go. When I finally walked out of the water, the sky was starting to turn pink. I had a moment of déjà vu when I saw someone sitting beside my surfboard. I knew it was him, and that made me angry. I had just worked so hard to get over him and I was finally starting to move on.

I tried to ignore him, but in the end we had to talk. Maybe closure was what we both needed, more than getting back together. So I sat next to him, just like I had the last time. 

“I was wrong,” he said. Hearing those words come out of his mouth startled me. He continued, “I haven’t thought about anything but you since we… And now that John B is gone, dead or missing, I don’t know, I really need someone— you. I need you.”

That was exactly I wanted to hear. So why wasn’t I happy to hear it?

“I miss you too, JJ. But these last few months… I met someone. He’s good for me. I don’t know if I love him, but I think I could.”

JJ nodded, running a hand through his hair. “So you just go off with your new Kook boyfriend and leave the Pogues behind, right?” He got up to leave. I stood up too, and grabbed his wrist.

“JJ, that’s not what I meant. I’ll never love anyone the way I love you.” He froze.

“You said love.” He turned to face me, running his hand up my arm. Goosebumps erupted all of my skin. All this time apart and he still had this effect on me. 

“Yeah, so?” I didn’t quite understand what had caught his attention.

“Love, as in present tense. Love as in you love me, as in you’re still in love with me.” I always loved how his demeanor could change from sulky to euphoric in a matter of seconds. 

“What does it matter what I said? I’m with Michael now.” There were two ways this could go, and I wasn’t sure which I preferred.

“Yeah, and you sounds so happy about that.” He brushed a strand of hair away from my face, drawing me closer. He still smelled the same: sea salt and rain, and vape smoke. I ran my hands up his bare chest, barely conscious of what I was doing. Some part of me knew this was wrong, but all I could hear was the pounding of my heart in my ears.

“JJ, we—” I never finished the thought because then his lips were on mine and it was like our first kiss all over again. It was hot and passionate and needy, and his hands were everywhere. I wanted to touch him too, to memorize any new marks on his skin that hadn’t been there last time. At some point we fell back to the sand but all I could feel were his lips and his hands. He moved from my mouth to my neck, kissing me along my collarbone and nipping at the skin there while his hands untied the back of my bathing suit. He lifted the fabric over my head and his hands were at my breasts, rolling my nipples between his fingers as I arched into him and grabbed at his hair, his shoulders, anything to leave my mark on him like he was doing to me. 

And then I was straddling him, feeling his erection poking into my leg as I grinded my hips down onto his. He let out a soft moan of my name, pulling me even closer so we were chest to chest. His skin was warm, mine still wet from the ocean. I caught his lips with mine, kissing him like it would bring him back and make everything else go away. The desire that was clouding my mind subsided for a moment when he rubbed my core through my bikini bottoms and I realized what I was doing. I pulled away.

“JJ, we can’t do this. I have a boyfriend.” He moved his fingers away and my body protested at the loss of contact.

“Tell me to stop and I will.” That was all I needed to hear. Seeing his lips swollen and his eyes dark with lust pushed all thoughts of my Kook boyfriend from my head. So I kissed him again and moaned softly against his lips as I felt him push the fabric of my bathing suit aside and slip his finger into me. He pumped his finger in and out for a moment before adding another one and curling them against my walls. I dug my nails into his shoulders before reaching for his shorts. He chuckled and stopped fingering me while I struggled with the button on his shorts. He helped me undo them and leaned back while I reached into his boxers and slowly ran my hand down his length. He sighed, biting his lip softly and closing his eyes. 

My core was aching from the loss of contact and all I wanted was him inside me, so I pulled his boxers down, freeing his erection. I moved my bathing suit to the side and I pumped him a few times with my hand before lining him up at my entrance and sinking down onto him. He moaned in surprise and his eyes flew open. I took a few moments to adjust to his size before rocking my hips against him. He sat up, pushing himself further into me and helped me slide up and down on him. I moaned as he hit a spot deep inside of me that I’d only ever felt him reach. 

“God, I missed this. You’re so wet for me,” he sighed into my ear, bucking his hips into me. We found our rhythm, deep and passionate, exploring each other like we had the first time. He talked softly into my ear, telling me how much he loved me, how good I felt, how much he missed me. 

He sped up his thrusts and I moaned his name loudly, thankful that no one was on the beach in the early hours of the morning. I bounced up and down on him, pulling his hair and tugging his bottom lip with my teeth. I felt my stomach clench and before I knew it, I came around him, cursing and moaning his name. He came soon after, helping me ride out my high before I pulled myself off of him and fixed my bathing suit. He looked at me, grinning lopsidedly.

“Thank you. For that and for everything.” I said, grabbing my stuff and blowing him a kiss goodbye.

“Wait you’re just going to leave?” He protested, fixing his shorts and boxers as well and slipping on sand as he ran after me. He grabbed my hand and I set my surfboard on the ground, letting him pull me into him.

“JJ, I have to go. My parents will be super mad if they figure out I’m gone.”

“Baby, please. Dump your tool of a boyfriend. I’m here, and I love you. I’m sorry I let you go.”

“I love you too, but this shouldn’t have happened. I have a boyfriend and as much as I love you, I’m with him right now. Maybe someday.” I kissed him softly, then picked up my board, and headed up the beach, leaving him alone as the sun came up.

[dontshootmespence]

Happily Ever After

Summary: After meeting through the most unlucky of circumstances, you find yourself connecting with the alpha that helped save your life - the Prince.

Pairing: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Prince!Sam x Omega!Reader

Word Count: 4,605

Warnings: Heat, masturbation, outdoor claiming, marking, scenting, knotting, talk of pups, naughty words for genitalia,

A/N: This will fulfill my royal au square for @spnfluffbingo, my alpha/omega square for @spnabobingo​ and the quote ‘Nice to finally talk to you when I’m not...you know...choking on my own blood’ for @spnquotebingo​.

Beta’d by: @felix-the-white-wolf​ Thanks!

Throughout the Kingdom of Lamudor, every omega, beta and even alpha craved one thing - the attention of the kingdom’s sole heir, Samuel, or Sam as he preferred to be called according to everyone he’d ever spoken to. Though Y/N, an omega, desired the attention of the Prince as much as anyone else, she moved about her days with speed and precision. As the sole caretaker for her ailing father and two beta brothers, she had no time to swoon over the alpha; she had work to do and a family to feed.

The marketplace buzzed with excitement. The King didn’t enjoy letting his son into the marketplace, thought it too common, but the headstrong Prince had never been one to take no for an answer, so about once a month, he would make his way into the marketplace accompanied by a few guards - older, more seasoned alphas that could protect him if the need arose.

As Y/N flitted about, picking out the necessities to keep her household going for at least the next week or so, she chanced a peek at the alpha, her body going warm in his presence. His scent was intoxicating, hard like steel, soft like grass and rich like ale. Moving about, she allowed herself to dream - but not too much. At each stand, she exchanged pleasantries with the owner, paying what was expected for eggs and flour and milk and other such things. Her deft movements through the crowds were a practiced dance she did well - never wavering from the tried and tested path.

With one last glance, Y/N spun back around to return home. However, today, the kingdom was having caskets of wine delivered to the castle for the King’s name day. She tripped over her well-used apron and into the back end of one of the carts, which caused the gate holding the contents to swing open.

Before she could think, nearly a dozen large caskets rolled off the cart. Her purchases from the marketplace flew into the air and scattered about as she was pinned under the heavy weight of the King’s wine. She had no idea why people around her were screaming until she saw the Prince and his guard rushing toward to push the caskets off. “I can’t- breathe-” She said softly, gasping for air as her eyes well with tears. “I can’t- My family- Sick-” When she coughed, she saw blood, and welcomed the feel of Sam’s hands grasping hers as he called for the surgeon.

“Get her to a doctor! Now!” He screamed. He was helpless as the castle’s medical experts came to rush her away - a stream of red spilling from the corner of her mouth.

                                                         --------

Nearly a week passed before Y/N awoke to a string of people who faces she didn’t recognize. Her first thought was her father and brothers. “My family,” she said, her voice cracking from dryness. She tried to move, but it only sent a shooting pain up her side. “How long? How is my family?”

A shorter gentleman whose face you somewhat recognized, approached you quickly and rested his hands on yours. “Your family is okay. They are here. It’s been a half a fortnight.”

“Where is here?”

“The King’s castle. You will be healing here. Per the Prince’s not-so-subtle suggestion,” he said with a smile.

You were in the castle. As was your family. The Prince wanted you here? “May I see my family?” She asked. She already felt weak.

Shaking his head, the doctor ghosted his hands over your face. “Close your eyes. Rest more. When you wake next, I will make sure you see your family.”

Despite your desire to fight, to see them now and assure they were truly okay, your eyes did not cooperate.

                                                        --------

As he’d promised, the next time you opened your eyes, about a day later, your father and brothers were there. Your 6-year-old brother, Charles, hopped up and down with excitement; your mother had died shortly after he was born, so to him, you were his everything. Benjamin, at 16, just looked relieved, for your sake and his; he wouldn’t have to be the man of the house just yet.

Your father looked worn, but he was smiling. “Thank God, you’re okay, little one.” It was a nickname you’d had for as long as you could remember. He cradled the side of your face, his thumb grazing over your cheek. “You look so much like your mother. If I lost you too, I-”

“Don’t think about it, Father,” you said softly. “Have you spoken to the doctor? How long will I be here?”

“At least another two fortnights,” he said. “Closer to three. But you are being well taken care of. As are we.”

For the first time in ages, your family looked content, at ease. They didn’t have to worry. “Are you up to seeing another visitor or two?” Your doctor asked as he approached.

“Yes, I think so.”

“The boys and I will take our leave,” your father said. “The King has invited us to eat at his table every night. And I think the boys are hungry.”

They looked a little guilty that they wanted to eat, but you assured them you were fine. “Go get ready for supper,” you said. As they walked away, you breathed a sigh of relief, but the moment you glanced to the side and saw your first visitor, your muscles tensed.

“King John!”

“No, please, don’t move. You’ll pop your stitches. I just wanted to see that you were truly okay.” He sat at your side and grasped your hand in his. You’d never have imagined the King sitting at your side looking so guilt ridden. “It was my wine that fell on you. I can’t even begin to say how sorry I am.”

“It’s okay, your grace,” you said quickly. “It was an honest accident. You’re taking care of me and my family. I’ll be eternally grateful.”

“The pleasure is mine,” he said, his smile returning. “Are you up for one more visitor?”

Nodding, you watched as the King left and ushered in Sam. “My Prince. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Like my father, I needed to make sure you were okay.” From his place in the castle, he saw you frequently. There was an almost magical quality about you, he thought; your smile radiant and footsteps light as feathers. Seeing you now, in person, was more than he could handle. Despite your situation with a punctured lung and broken rib, you radiated a beauty and strength he hadn’t experienced except through portraits of his mother.

The second he’d approached you in the marketplace, he knew you were an omega, and now that he had the chance to take you in, he was intoxicated by the overwhelming scent of honey-flowers and the sea. Though in his late-20s, Sam had never taken an omega or a princess to his side; he’d never been affected by anyone before - and he wanted a love like his parents had enjoyed. “Y/N, would it be okay if I came to visit you while you heal? Get to know you?”

“You want to get to know me?” You asked, eyes wide.

Sam couldn’t believe she would be surprised by such a prospect. “I do. Would that be okay?” He asked. When you nodded, he chuckled his relief. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”

“Nice to finally talk to you when I’m not,” you said, “you know...choking on my own blood.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at your frankness, smiling wide when you joined in his laughter.

                                                         --------

Over the next month, Sam, as he insisted you call him, came to sit at your bedside at least once a day. Sometimes, he would just sit by your side as you slept, rubbing your hand with his calloused thumb. Other times, he would assist the doctors in helping you stand to make sure your muscles wouldn’t atrophy while you healed.

Through it all, you got to know each other. At first, Sam told you about himself; things you wouldn’t have known just because of his status. The times he spent with his mother, how she trained in the ways of sword fighting. “That was your mother? Not the King?” You asked.

“No, not the King. Believe it or not, he hates to fight unless it’s absolutely necessary. It was my mother who was the fiery one. She always had some fight in her.”

“I can just imagine little Sam fighting alongside his mother.” Your wounds had almost healed, but it was taking so long. You wanted to walk with him, hand-in-hand, as he gave you tours of his home. For a moment, you pictured the little prince with his mother. “My mother was never a fighter. She was an omega through and through. Found my father and bore his pups. She died giving birth to Charles. I miss her.”

Sam furrowed his brow. If only there was a way to turn back time. “I wish I could’ve met her,” he said softly. “Do you see yourself as the typical omega?”

You hesitated. “I’ve never really thought about it. I wasn’t when I was younger, but then my mother passed away and I had to be the caregiver because my father was sick and my brothers were too little. So maybe by circumstance, not by design.” The thought of bearing Sam’s pups crossed your mind. “That’s not to say I don’t want pups of my own. I just want to be more than that. Maybe a fighter, like your mother.”

“May I?” He asked, extending his arms. Though you didn’t know what he wanted, you trusted him. For the first time since you’d been injured, he gathered you in his arms and placed you in his lap. “Would it be too forward of me to say that I’ve imagined you as my omega?”

Your heartbeat pumped loudly in your ears and you blushed. “Would it be too forward of me to say that I’ve imagined the Prince as my alpha?”

Without a word, Sam lifted his hand to your chin and tipped your mouth to his. Washed in the soft, fresh scent of green grass, he slipped his tongue into your mouth and breathed you in. It was a beautiful dream - a fulfilling one - but you couldn’t leave your family. Once you were fully healed, you would all have to return home. Father couldn’t care for the boys and the boys were still so young. For now however, you would sink into his embrace and dream and a life where you didn’t come from two separate worlds.

                                                        --------

After the week passed, the castle doctor declared you healthy. It was a bittersweet moment. Your time with Sam was over, but you could move and bend and breath like you had before.

Due to the King’s courtesy, your family was given a week’s worth of food and necessities to help settle you in back home. Before you left, you made sure to see him, curtsying in his presence to thank him profusely for the kindness he’d shown you and your family. “You’re a tough one,” he said, almost fondly. “Not many could recover from such an injury.” Sam beamed at his side.

As you began to leave, Sam ran up to your side. “We can still see each other?” He asked hopefully.

You nodded quickly and gave him a soft smile before turning to leave. Even if your lives were too different to allow a romance, you wanted to remain his friend, no matter how difficult that might be.

Settling back into home life was easier than you had imagined, and while your family had enjoyed their time in the castle, they were glad to be surrounded by the comforts of home. Returning to your weekly trip to the marketplace felt like coming home; it was familiar, comforting, to take care of your family...and it allowed you to return to the castle area - to be closer to Sam.

Upon preparing your family for your incoming heat, which would all but incapacitate you, you returned home and found yourself flushed with warmth. After the injury you’d suffered, you hoped your heat would come later, but there was no such luck. You felt sick to your stomach, your muscles ached, and your sex quivered for the strong touch of an alpha, but not just any. Now you thought of Sam when you slipped your hand between your legs. Careful to keep your voice down so as to not wake your brothers, you whimpered Sam’s name into your down pillow, feeling only the slightest sense of relief as you drifted off to sleep.

                                                       --------

The following morning, you dressed yourself in your loosest dress, the feeling of the material unbearable to your overwrought skin, and ensured your father and brothers were set before heading into the woods. During your heats, you always felt better outdoors, so you made it a point to have some time alone. It was a cloudy day, perfect weather for a stroll.

As you basked in the cool air, you focused on the flowers, the trees, the beauty around you. It was the only “medicine” you could afford to help you through your heats. Others who lived closer to the market could buy medications, but they were so expensive, and you couldn’t bear to spend the money on that when you could swallow the pain and use it on food for your family.

Ten minutes later, you happened upon your favorite tree and leaned against its trunk. Inhaling, you sighed happily at the scent of nearby jasmine. But then your muscles tensed, a familiar steel blanketing you. “Sam?”

When you poked your head out from behind the tree, you saw him, all hard angles and soft smiles. He was out on his horse, alone. “Sam, what are you doing here?”

He dipped to kiss your forehead, his embrace so inviting. “Once in a while, I try to take some time alone. To have time to think.”

He pulled away, and you could see his cock pressing against his pants. This was dangerous; being in the presence of your heat could trigger his rut, and then all control would be lost. “I do, too. I’ve never seen you out this way before,” you said softly. “Did you- did you follow me here?”

“Not exactly,” he said, eyes lust blown. “I found your scent and I followed it. Hoping I might run into you.”

“We can’t.” Your lip trembled at thought of pulling away from him. “Sam, we can’t be near each other right now. I’m in heat. And I can’t be your omega.”

Sam shook his head, taken aback. “What do you mean? I thought you said you imagined it.”

“I have,” you admitted, wiping a droplet of water off your cheek. It was starting to rain. “So much. But to be your omega would mean leaving my family. My father cannot care for himself, no less my brothers. I cannot leave them.”

A smirk passed his lips as he stepped toward you, his scent filling your nostrils and sending your nerves into overdrive. “You would not have to leave them.”

“What?”

“If you want me to be your alpha, if you want to be my omega, then your family can live in the castle, as they have been. You would see them every day. I would have castle attendants care for them. I wouldn’t make you choose between me and them.”

As the rain pounded through the canopy of trees, you arched into him, wanting so badly to give in - to do something for yourself for the first time in your life. “Why me?” You asked genuinely, gasping softly when his lips ghosted over yours. “I’m no princess.”

“I don’t want a princess. I want you. As my Omega, and my future Queen.” You stared at him in awe, still somewhat disbelieving of your current reality. “For years, my father tried to marry me off to princesses, some omegas, some betas, purely so that I would have a Queen, but I refused, until I found someone that made me as happy as my mother made my father.”

Cold rain mixed with heated tears. “Alpha,” you breathed.

That one spoken word was all he needed to hear. He slipped his hand up the side of your neck and cradled your face in his hands as he kissed you hungrily, a low growl emanating from his throat. “’Mega. Say yes. Say that you want this life, with me.”

The words wouldn’t come, so you leaned into him and bit his lower lip, groaning into his mouth. “Alpha, I need you.”

Sam lifted you against the trunk of the tree, its bark digging into your back. Though the rain was coating you both, he held on tight and lifted your skirt above your cunt, grazing his fingers over your fiery skin. You bucked into his hand, running your hands over the dampened material of his clothing, eager to release his cock from its confines.

As his finger slipped between slick folds, he used his other hand to push his pants down just below his buttocks. “Going to knot you. Claim you. Mark you. Mine.”

Unbuttoning his shirt, you splayed your hands over the wide expanse of his chest and nipped at him, his skin practically vibrating with need under your touch. “Mark you too,” you mumbled against him. Your hands slipped into his hair, wet with rain, and tugged.

When he growled, you felt it go straight to your cunt. He placed himself at your entrance, teasing you slick cunt with the head of his cock. You wanted to take him in, see him in all his glory, but there was no time and neither of you had the patience to wait any longer. “Please, Alpha.”

He grasped your ass as he eased in by degrees, giving you time to adjust to the size of him. “Fuck, ‘Mega, such a tight little cunt. Gonna knot you.”

Pulling back, he pounded back into you, causing your back to scrape against the tree. You cried at the pain, the overwhelming feel of it all, but you welcomed it and clawed at his back.

As he thrusted into you, you clenched your walls around him. Each tightening around him drove him harder and faster. His knot began to swell, and he mumbled into your shoulder, moving your sleeve so he could mark you, claim you, when the time was right.

“Fuck me full,” you whined. “Please. I need you, Alpha.”

Whimpering into you, he bit at your pulse point and picked up the pace until his knot locked to you. When he spilled himself inside you, you cried out, biting down into his shoulder as he did yours. The pain of your claiming made him jerk into you. “Mine, ‘Mega,” he breathed.

The rain continued to fall overhead as he softened inside you, his knot unlocking. “Sam,” you said softly into the crook of his neck. “What do we do now?”

“I tell my father I’ve found my future Queen.” He kissed the claim mark on your shoulder and pulled your sleeve back up over it. “You tell your family that you’re going to marry the Prince. And we live happily ever after.”

When he pulled out of you, you felt bereft, wanting nothing more than to stay here, against this tree, for the rest of time. “It’s that simple?”

“It’s that simple,” he stated. He dressed himself and helped you do the same, so you would at least look semi-appropriate in front of your family after your simple “walk” in the forest. “Go home. Tell them. Tell them none of you will ever have to worry again. And then come home to me.”

                                                      --------

After returning home, you father took in your smile; he knew. “Are you okay?” Charles asked.

“Yes, little one,” you replied with a smile. “I’ve come home to tell you all something. We’ll be returning to the castle soon.”

“Really?” Benjamin asked, delighted by the prospect. He’d eaten better in those six weeks at the castle than he had his entire life.

You glanced back at your father to see him smiling. “She’s fallen in love with the Prince, am I right?”

“Yes, father. And he with me. He wishes to be married. I told him I would, but that I couldn’t leave you here to fend for yourselves. He could only have me if he accepted you three.”

Benjamin came over to hug you, taking in the hint of a claim mark sitting underneath your sleeve. He smirked, but he spoke genuinely. “I am glad you found a man that loves you. For all you do, you deserve it.”

“Thank you, Benji.”

                                                     --------

In the ensuing fortnight, the King had pulled together a spectacular wedding celebration, overjoyed that his seemingly picky son had finally found his Queen. Other royalty from nearby kingdoms looked down upon the common woman becoming a princess, no less the future Queen, but Sam nor his father cared. And the people welcomed her with open arms. One of their own would serve them far better than a foreign princess.

Even with the kingdom’s resources now at your disposal, you picked a modest wedding dress, white as snow and sprinkled with sewn honey-flowers, per Sam’s request. Covering your shoulders sat delicate lace. As you stood before your Alpha, declaring your love to the surrounding kingdoms as well as your own, you saw the love reflected in his eyes.

King John stood at his son’s side proudly, welcoming his daughter-in-law into the royal family. “You will make a wonderful Queen someday. I’m happy my son finally found you,” he said, turning around to tease him as the ceremony came to a close.

Walking through the applauding crowd, you leaned into your new husband, your Alpha and future King. “Will your father step down?” You asked as Sam led you toward the Great Hall where you would have your reception. Per your request, your entire village had been invited. “He should be able to retire and enjoy the kingdom he’s helped to rule for so long.”

“I agree,” Sam replied. You entered the Great Hall and marveled at the splendor before you, flowers bedecking every inch. When he pulled you into the middle of the floor and gathered his arm around you, you readied yourself for your first dance in front of the kingdom. “And he will. As soon as I have an heir, I’m sure.” He winked.

Blushing, you kissed him and whispered into his ear. “Well, I guess we’ll have to wait until after the reception. We wouldn’t want to disappoint him, would we?”

                                                    --------

Of course you wanted to celebrate marrying the man you loved, but as Sam’s insistent hands roamed your body over the soft fabric of your dress, you couldn’t help but want to leave and get to more important matters - not just for yourself, but for the King - naturally.

After thanking each and every guest for their attendance and bidding your family good evening, you walked hand-in-hand with your Alpha toward the bedroom you would share from now on. When you entered, you felt at home, with dark wood and deep reds washing over you. His closet had been expanded in the previous days and filled with outfits of all sorts in colors you’d never had the privilege to wear before.

In the center of the room pushed up against one of the castle’s outer walls stood an imposing, wooden, four-poster bed. “I had the servants add the sheets,” he said, “Figured it would be a nice touch for you.”

“It is,” you giggled, pulling him toward you. “Although the bed really is of no matter to me, not as much as the one in it.”

Sam mumbled appreciatively against your skin, licking and sucking at your pulse point. Unlike when he’d claimed you, tonight would be nowhere near as frenzied. “Going to take my time tonight, ‘Mega. Show you just how much you deserve to be worshipped.”

As he began to untie your dress, he rolled his tongue over yours, promising between open-mouthed kisses and love bites that he would fuck you full of pups tonight. “Need your knot, Alpha.”

“In time,” he said cockily. You felt your body flush with heat under his practiced touch. He let your dress drop and pool at your feet, taking in your beautiful blush. “Right now, I need this.”

Dropping to his knees before you, he licked a stripe up your slit. You shivered and swayed on your feet, but he held you steady with strong hands on either side of you. As he flicked his tongue over your clit, you trembled in his embrace and begged for more. You wanted his fingers, his cock, his knot. Anything and everything.

Flattening his tongue against your cunt, he moaned at the heady taste and nipped at your folds. It was overwhelming to have your Alpha, the prince, worshipping at your feet. He was still clothed; it was too much.

“Please, I need to see you,” you rasped, clawing at the wedding attire he wore. You slipped your fingers under the material and pushed it down from his shoulders, grazing your hand over the mark you’d left on him weeks earlier. He stood up, his eyes practically black with lust, and began to tear at his clothing.

Before long, he was completely bare, his cock hanging thick between his legs as he picked you up and placed you on the bed. He crawled up between the two posters at the bottom of the bed and grabbed your legs, spreading you open for the next assault of his tongue. This time his kisses weren’t experimental in the slightest. He devoured your cunt like it was his last meal and he was starved.

Each pass of his fingers and swipe of his tongue had you writhing underneath him. He brought you to the brink so quickly it was if he’d been mapping and studying your body his entire life. When you came, you shook against his mouth, crying out his name like it was the only word you’d ever known. “Fuck, Alpha. I want you. Please. Need your knot.”

Climbing up your body, he spread your legs with his own, his thick thighs holding you in place. You reached between you and grabbed his cock, rubbing your thumb over the head and knot as your other hand slipped over his taut, sweat-slick muscles.

He held himself above you and placed his cock at your entrance, sliding home with ease. “So beautiful, ‘Mega.”

You whimpered at his continued effusive praise and began to claw at his back, scraping your fingernails down the wide expanse of his back. When you grabbed the firm flesh of his ass, you pulled him toward you, begging him silently to fuck you harder, fuck you full of his come. “Such a needy little, ‘Mega.”

“Need you.” As your pleas turned to strangled cries and pitiful whimpers, you felt him lose control, rutting against you as he licked and kissed at the mark he’d given you. “Yours, Alpha.”

That was all he needed to let go, spilling himself inside you with a few quick pumps of his cock. “Fuck, ‘Mega. Love you. So much.”

“I love you, too, Alpha.”

Removing himself from you, he kissed your stomach. “Can’t wait to see you round with my pups.”

“And then we live happily ever after?”

“And then we live happily ever after.”

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

‘always and forever, lara jean’: a bungled mess of my thoughts while watching the movie

Alright, cards on the table: I never finished reading the book. I got bored a couple of pages in, so I just read up the summary on Wikipedia and called it a day.

Not gonna lie, I expected better from the movies. I loved the first movie; it was cute, it was fun, it hit all the right places. The second movie was… eh. Jordan Fisher is cute, so that’s a plus.

And then we got the third movie; the final in the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before trilogy.

And it was somehow even worse.

Maybe I’m exaggerating. Despite its shortcomings in the plot and character development-related departments (the fact that Lara Jean wrote addresses for letters she never meant to send is something that will bother me on my deathbed), the movies have their merits. They’re cutesy and charming and enjoyable, overall; movie-LJ is sweet and unashamedly a girly-girl, which is a refreshing change from the #NotLikeOtherGirls, pick-me girls and bruh girls we had in loads of other YA movies growing up. Peter’s pretty cute, too; he’s not a possessive freak like so many other love interests (The Kissing Booth, After, Anna and the French Kiss), and his and Lara Jean’s dynamic is cute, too. Not to mention- we finally have an Asian lead whose Asian-ness isn’t the whole focus of the story!

Again, maybe I’m being extra with all this. The series is, at its core, solely for entertainment purposes. Not every piece of media has to have an underlying message and you shouldn’t need to read between every goddamn line to find something worthy of enjoying. They’re certainly helpful for whiling away a couple of hours; perfect for bingeing with a pint of ice cream in hand, and all of this is in good fun.

Also, it goes without saying, but: spoilers ahead.

The film beings with Lara Jean scribbling a postcard to Peter while she’s in Korea with her family. The inclusion of that little snapshot of Asian culture made me so happy- seriously, fuck everyone who says diversity in media doesn’t matter. I’m not even Korean, and I was overjoyed at seeing a couple of scenes just from the same continent I’m on. The K-pop music in the background was a fun touch, too (although all Korean music isn’t K-pop, but that’s a rant for another day).

(Also: Blackpink has so many more suitable songs than Pretty Savage that go with the theme of the movies. Kill This Love in the second movie while Lara Jean is getting ready to go to her boyfriend’s match is bad enough- they’re supposed to be in love in that scene, goddammit.)

One thing that bothered me throughout the movies is how obviously non-Korean Lara Jean and Margot look. It’s like whoever chose the cast went for any random Asian- Lana’s Vietnamese and Janel Parrish is half-Chinese, and it’s so obvious. You seriously couldn’t find two Korean-Americans who even vaguely resembled each other so they could pass for sisters? The actresses do a stunning job and I don’t want to shit on them, but I just wish they didn’t go with the ‘all Asians look the same, what’s the difference?’ mindset.

Also, a nitpicky thing I’ve noticed in movies with characters who read a lot: no one holds their books up while they’re reading. Your arms start to cramp, which is why you keep your book in your lap while you’re reading, or you rest on your belly and hold the book in front of you. My spine and shoulders didn’t suffer years of torture as a chronic reader for you to include characters who hold their books up while reading.

A major gripe I have with Always and Forever, Lara Jean is how the characters are almost jarringly out of character- not from the books, but from the two previous movies, too. Lara Jean didn’t have much of a character to begin with, so I can’t say much about her (she dissed Oasis at one point; it’s okay for me to be mean to her), but the rest of them are either caricatures of themselves or just totally different people.

Movie Peter >>> Book Peter. He’s almost too perfect (except for the fact that he unironically loves The Fast and the Furious, which… ew), almost too much of the ideal boyfriend. Not that my perpetually single arse would know. How do boyfriends even work? I wouldn’t know the first thing to do with one; how often should you feed it? Do you need to take it on walks?

(In the notes I’ve written towards the end of the film, I’ve complained about Peter being immature and making Lara Jean feel bad about following her dream to go to NYU. He confuses me.)

Not to mention how distractingly adorable Noah Centineo is from some angles and under certain lighting conditions (other times, he reminds me of the human version of Shrek and that bothered me). King of weird Tweets and Instagram captions though he may be, he’s got a really nice smile, and his gravelly voice is both parts sexy and disturbing.

But I digress.

I’ll never forgive the directors for what they did to Kitty and Chris- two of my favorite characters, from both the books and the movies. Kitty’s annoying to the point of being borderline unlikeable- gone is the occasionally snarky comic relief we all came to love; in her place is an annoying brat whose every line comes out forced. Also, making soap is fun; fuck you, Kitty.

Chris is essentially Dixie D’Amelio’s character from that TikToker Grey’s Anatomy ripoff; the main character in One Direction fanfiction from 2012 who doesn’t want to go to the concert but her best friend gets a ticket for her so she can’t bail but Harry Styles sees her in the crowd and falls in love at first sight and 50k of mutual pining and misunderstandings late, they get together. She’s cynical and snarky and hates capitalism and consumerism and prom (because of course she does), but secretly, she’s into it (because of course she is). My guess is that she’s there to appease all the arseholes (including myself) who accused the characters of being too one-dimensional, but it seems too out of place in a movie that doesn’t have much plot to begin with.

I really, really hate how Lucas was done dirty- throughout every single movie. Of course, it’s Lara Jean’s story so not every side character has to be fully fleshed out- but you’d think three. entire. movies. would be enough to give Lucas a bigger role than the GBF and the token black guy for the diversity brownie points. Every single time Lucas shows up, it’s to push Lara Jean and Peter’s story forward. I would’ve liked to see a romance for him pushed forward instead one for Chris- especially because he says, at one point in a previous movie, that it’s hard to find other gay boys, so it would’ve been sweet to see him find love- and Chris’s character arc could’ve been focused on reconciling with Genevieve. Instead, we see the OG Reggie from Riverdale be the one to show Chris the bright side of monogamy, and Lucas gets a date to prom as an afterthought (another darkskin black dude, so no one thinks the film is racist).

Genevieve’s character in this movie gives me whiplash. Look, I’m all for girls supporting girls- healthy female relationships are something way too many YA movies lack- but she goes from bitch queen extraordinaire to friendly the moment the next scene calls for it. Her character isn’t consistent. A redemption arc should be executed cleanly and believably; you can’t have a character be a total prick one moment and then suddenly be, “Hey, if you get into NYU, let me know,” the next.

And Genevieve’s still an arsehole to Chris; at one point, in NYC, while they’re at the NYU campus grounds (I knew that Lara Jean was going to go to NYU the moment she saw all the banners; I fucking called it), Genevieve tells Chris, “University is for people who actually have a future,” and I recoiled. I’m not the nicest of people and yet that was going too far. Chris doesn’t hesitate to shoot back a, “You peaked in high school,”, but still. Y i k e s. You can’t convince me someone’s turned over a new leaf when they say something like that.

Lara Jean’s dad (forgot his name; gonna call him Dr. Covey) is as unremarkable as ever, and his new wife (forgot her name, too… Trisha? Trina? Eh, something like that) is… unsettling. I mean, I get that they’re all loved up and twitterpatted, but there’s something about all the smiling they’ve got going on that chills me to the bone.

Also, Trisha/Trina kinda looks like TikTok’s ThatVeganTeacher and it bothers me.

Another huge problem with this movie even being made is that the series never had enough plot to continue onto a trilogy. Lara Jean’s letters are what the plots of the first and second movies revolve around; the third only mentions them in passing. The final love letter from Peter was a cute callback, but there’s a massive continuity issue with the first two movies and this last one- both character and plot-wise.

Maybe I’m not articulating this clearly enough, so I’ll use an example: take Harry Potter, for example. Harry’s main goal throughout the series is defeating Voldemort. And it takes all seven books for him to get there, to finally achieve this.

Lara Jean’s goal in the first movie changes midway; from keeping up the façade with Peter so she can avoid the crap with the rest of the letters getting out, to making her fake relationship real. It forms a bridge with the second movie; the letter that went out to John Ambrose, and her dithering between Peter and perfection (I’m not sorry). But what does the third movie have to do with any of this?

There were way too many music montages. You couldn’t go five minutes without a random pop song playing in the background, and it was annoying as hell. Don’t Look Back in Anger was w a s t e d on this stupid film. The artsy scenery shots were even worse- no, I don’t give a fuck about the New York skyline or a bird’s eye view of whatever vehicle Lara Jean is in. A few shots of Seoul would’ve sufficed; the rest was overkill. This movie is way too damn long already (almost 2 entire hours!!!); cut out a couple of those. No one cares.

I thought they’d pull the whole Aladdin trope with character-A-keeps-trying-to-tell-character-B-the-truth-about-a-lie-B-believes-in-about-A-but-B-keeps-interrupting, but Lara Jean (typing her name out is annoying, why couldn’t she have a single name, like both of her sisters?) comes clean earlier than I expected. Peter’s reaction about LJ not getting into Stanford is… uncharacteristically mature? No “Why did you lie to me?”, no accusations, not an ounce of betrayal. Which I did not expect from a guy who’s a little bitch for the greater part of book one (I really don’t like Book Peter, in case you couldn’t tell). I know fuck-all about book three’s Peter, so I can’t tell if he really did adopt this mature, well-adjusted persona, or the movie did it to make Peter seem like less of a dick (like they did it with the sextape-that-wasn’t-a-sextape in the first installment).

On a sidenote, how do these main characters in YA books get into really good colleges with zero to no visible effort? These arseholes fuck around for the entirety of the story and have way too much going on to actually do schoolwork, but they waltz into Ivy Leagues at the end. And apparently, I’m not the only one bothered by this.

There’s something to be said about how the movies don’t really sexualize minors (characters who are minors, to be fair. None of the MCs look anything like teenagers), though. It’s almost weird to see them not getting drunk and partying and having sex all the time. Maybe that’s why Lara Jean trying to get her hand on Peter’s dick felt so stilted and awkward (I cringed so hard when she kept trying to touch him and he kept pushing her hand away, holy shit).

And the kissing. It’s to be expected from a romance film, but there was so. Much. Kissing.

The amount of product placements (… actually, I could count only two: Apple and a pair of Beats headphones Lara Jean puts on at one point, but the movie shoved so many iPhones in my face that I’m obligated to exaggerate) would’ve made anti-capitalist Chris mad.

I’m guessing this all takes place in a parallel universe, sans the coronavirus. Still, being in quarantine this past year and being socially awkward for every other one, it was agonizing seeing everyone so close together in NYC. When Peter kissed the ball (lol) (I have the sense of humor of a straight boy in middle school, don’t judge me) when him and Lara Jean go bowling, I had a visceral reaction. And what are the odds of Peter meeting his estranged dad at the very same bowling alley?

Speaking of Peter’s daddy issues (I’ve written “Hardin but diluted” in my notes; I watched this movie at, like, 1 AM; I’m not entirely sure what was going through my head at that point)- I hated how they guilt-tripped Peter into giving his father another chance. In the wise words of Hannah Montana, everybody makes mistakes- but leaving your wife and two kids for another woman is pretty far from a little oopsie on Mr. Kavinsky’s part. I don’t blame Peter for hating him, and I’m not in a place to judge whether Mr. Kavinsky (does he get a first name?) should be forgiven or not, but I feel like they let him off too easy and made Peter seem like a misunderstood teenager with anger issues for not accepting Mr. Kavinsky’s (crappy) apology at once.

And it adds nothing to the story at all; Mr. Kavinsky peaces out after having one (01) coffee with his firstborn, and he’s never seen again. If you’re going to introduce a subplot, make it tie into the main storyline- the very least you could do is make it an important enough part of the story to have more than 10 minutes of the run time. It makes no sense as to why they’d bring up Peter’s dad in this last film, when he’s already gone through two perfectly fine. I guess it was a ‘tying everything up’ part… even though no one cared.

Lara Jean’s handwriting is surprisingly ugly for someone who’s written that many love letters. And her styling took a definite nosedive; her outfits in the first movie were so effing cute, but now they’re just… meh.

There are so many conversations and lines that the writers must’ve thought sounded good enough for someone to type out the quote in curly font and slap it on a screenshot from the movie to post on Instagram, but when it comes to the actual delivery, they just sounded… weird.

Peter says one time near the beginning of the film, “You know what I’m looking forward to the most in college? Never having to say goodnight,” because he expects him and Lara Jean to get into the same college.

But I guess the word they should’ve used was ‘good-bye’, because this just makes him sound stupid.

At one point, Lara Jean asks Kitty how much Kitty’s gonna miss her when she goes off to college, and Kitty says, “A four.” Later on, she confesses, “I’m gonna miss you a twelve, Lara Jean,” and all I could think was, “But we’re endgame, Archie!”

(In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t let people know I’ve watched Riverdale; it lessons my credibility.)

Still, there remains some good to be found: all the baked goods looked very delicious and made me crave chocolate chip cookies. Peter wearing the socks Lara Jean gifted him at the beginning of the movie was a cute gesture, and Lara Jean giving Peter her teal hatbox? The one she kept her love letters in? Was so? Cute? Help?

And hey, it’s a cliché that’s been done to death, but I’m always a sucker for that part in movies where the girl walks down the stairs in a pretty dress with her hand on the banister and the boy turns around and his mouth falls open and all he can say is, “Wow,”- and this film did not disappoint! Not to mention how cute both Lara Jean’s and Chris’s prom dresses were.

Dr. Covey and Trisha/Trina’s wedding was cute, too- I struggled to decide whether Kitty wearing a necklace that says ‘feminist’ and a tux is a bit too on-the-nose, but I’ve decided that it’s nothing to get my knickers all in a twist about (for clarification: it’s not the necklace or the crossdressing that made me debate this; I just wish they didn’t make a big deal out of it- I wish they didn’t have Kitty and Lara Jean get into an argument about her not wearing a dress, if that makes sense?).

And the final letter- the one from Peter to Lara Jean- I ate that shit up; it was so, so, so cute.

In conclusion (why is it so easy for me to crank out 3k about my thoughts on a Netflix movie and yet when it comes to English Lit. at school, I’d stare at a blank sheet of foolscap for ages?), did I enjoy the movie? Not really. There were parts of it that I liked, but it was overall too boring and I kept wishing I’d watched the new SKZ Code episode instead every few minutes.

But that doesn’t mean that it was bad. I kinda feel a little sad, actually, now that Lara Jean and Peter’s story has come to a close; To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, the first movie, is one of my favorites, and bitch though I might about them, the kinda grew on me… like an innocent plant, at first, but then like a fungus. Not a parasitic fungus, just not mutualistic, either… kind of like a commensal.

Maybe I should stop with the biology similes.